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it's csm season, let's get stupid

  1. King of Space The Mittani's Avatar
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    etc etc, just click the link. candidacies have been accepted formally and now we get to watch the dog and pony show

    since i'm fairly secure in my position i've chosen to take a gigantic public dump on the whole process because it's full of bullshit, liars and fools, which will hopefully make a lot of pubbies very angry.


    edit: apparently it's too hard for riverini to click the above link so here's the blurb

    They’re lying to you.


    All the promises from the CSM candidates, all the ‘issues’ and ‘features’ they’re going to address - it’s all a pack of lies. For years now we have witnessed the same ritual take place in every CSM election. The candidates line up and tell you what they would do if they were given the power to be a game designer. During the first CSM summit CCP made it clear that they aren’t looking for amateur game developers, and on this fact they have never wavered. Yet the candidates have woven the same tapestry of lies for each successive election. They’d remove local, they’d make it harder to suicide gank, they’d protect the interests of the common player (whatever the hell that means), they’d bring ‘real reform’ to CCP.

    It’s time we stopped being suckers.

    The truth is that being on the CSM has nothing to do with being a game designer, or implementing your favorite features, or fixing railguns, or removing local. Here’s what actually happens:

    “People have an unrealistic idea of what the CSM actually does. It's how dribbling retards got elected because they had platforms like 'I will fix low-sec' or 'I will make CCP fix the lag'. The CSM doesn't generally present solutions to CCP because that historically isn't very effective so proposals like 'Improve the tracking of blasters' are dead in the water. They get raised anyway and then CCP buries them because they are more interested in having the problems highlighted rather than solutions put forwards.

    Most of what goes on in public with the CSM is total bullshit. The important stuff is what happens at the summits and in the internal forums. That's when CCP present their solutions and ask for the CSM to feedback on them and that's when the theorycrafting and superior knowledge of this horrible game come into play. In the year and a half since I've been a CSM alternate, 95% of my work has been shooting down other people's utterly dreadful ideas rather than actually raising new ones. Nobody cares about your ideas, least of all CCP, the best you can do is to try and slow the tide of slack-jawed idiocy coming from both sides of the table.” - Helen Highwater, CSM5
    The CSM is a sounding board. CCP comes to the CSM and lays out their ideas about whatever they’re thinking up, and it’s up to the the CSM to provide feedback while gagged under a nondisclosure agreement. That NDA means that the voting public doesn’t hear about the feedback the CSM provides until the minutes are released months later and diluted by CCPs professional staff. Then at the next election time, everyone goes through the same old dog and pony show, beating their chests and promising to fix blasters or put a Tengu in every hangar.

    You, the voters, get used - A vicious cycle that pits your wishes for a better EVE Online against 9 people looking for an all-expenses-paid Icelandic vacation.

    I know this because my directors have been on the CSM since its inception, and we’ve watched with growing frustration as the CSM showed promise, then failed to accomplish anything relevant. Skill queues are great, but putting that one feature up against the collective ideas of the thousands of players that have submitted proposals or run for a seat is appalling. Not to mention the scandals, and resignations, and outright cheating by CSM members. I’m sick of it.

    So I’m announcing my candidacy to become the Chairman of the CSM.

    Why all the truth-telling, when I’m making a run myself? Why aren’t I promising you a Tengu or a special Hulk that fires disco lasers while it mines, when it’s worked so well for the other CSM representatives? I’m the leader of Goonswarm. I don’t have to blow smoke up your ass just to get a trip to Iceland. I can get on the CSM, but merely getting there isn't going to be enough. I want to deliver a mandate to expose the hypocrisy of the whole process. I want to unite the CSM into an effective body for advocacy. To do this I need more than the goon votes, or NC support.

    I need you.

    Your vote can help me end the lies and change the CSM into something useful, something that matters. For that, I need the Chairman’s spot - I need your help to get there.

    What is to be done?

    The CSM does not implement features. It’s a sounding board for CCP. Ignore everything the other candidates say about their ‘positions’ on certain features because features are irrelevant at this stage in the game. Pay attention to the general attitudes of the candidates instead, as you will never find out what they said to CCP due to their nondisclosure agreements. If I promised you a new feature or a specific game change, I would be lying to you.

    Let's not waste time with bullshit. If you’re the obsessive type who wants to know about how I feel on every aspect of EVE, you can read my TenTonHammer columns. I’m not going to write a 3000-word paper about how I feel about any particular issue for the purposes of this election, as I cannot make any promises about anything except my general attitude towards the CSM.

    I believe that it is time to transform the CSM by electing a hardline player representative that will forge the CSM into a strong, united body that can fight for the playerbase and shield it from idiocy. With your help and the Chairman’s position, I can do my best to make that a reality.

    What I Can Offer You:

    The raw, ugly truth. No pretty illusions. No false promises.

    Every candidate is going to tell you that they want to bring your ideas to CCP. I want to bring CCP to our ideas.

    We play their game, we pay their upkeep, we use their features and we suffer from their shortsightedness. For this they give us one resource, the CSM, and they treat it like a mere focus group, not a stakeholder to be respected. On the CSM, I’ll do what I can to make it better, but I’m not going to promise you the moon and the stars, because I can’t deliver on that.

    What I can deliver is me being a ruthless, manipulative bastard. And you need that, if you want to see the CSM become a real advocate for the playerbase, one that cannot be dismissed by CCP. Thus far, the CSM has never been united. It has been a cacophony of individuals, mostly deluded by the false notion that their election has given them a designer’s position, bleating out their personal ‘fixes’ and being surprised when the devs ignore them. A divided CSM isn’t an effective advocate for the playerbase.

    If the CSM doesn’t band together to oppose CCP when they suggest retarded things, the interests of the playerbase get steamrolled. Obvious, preventable imbalances get implemented. You need someone who knows how to build a coalition, how to make people want to work together, how to make members feel like their voice and their opinion makes the collective union stronger. I have brought together a coalition of people who normally can't agree on the color of an orange and directed them in a war that most players can only dream of. If I can bring these people together, I can do the same for the CSM as its chair.

    [twitter]themittani[/twitter]

  2. God is dead. They found his carcass in 2019.. Phey Onat's Avatar
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    I support the above product and/or service.

    Will this webpage be expanded to include callouts on shitty candidates with over-the-top promises?

  3. King Dong Fartman's Avatar
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    nice website bro

    mittani 2011

  4. Prince Sky Pirate Razzor "Higgins" Toxic Death the Astral Walker Razzor's Avatar
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    Well it suckered me in. I feel so American rite now +1

  5. King of Space The Mittani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phey Onat View Post
    I support the above product and/or service.

    Will this webpage be expanded to include callouts on shitty candidates with over-the-top promises?
    probably not because then it'd constantly have to be updated, the csm subforum is already full of a bunch of terrible shit
    [twitter]themittani[/twitter]

  6. "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."
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    yeh no

  7. The church of Batman the redeemer needs you Elise Randolph's Avatar
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    Oh hey two lawyers on the CSM sounds p chill

  8. King Dong Venetian Tar's Avatar
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    I'll vote for the guy who tells CCP the problem with <insert broken mechanic here>
    Twitter: @Vene_T - RIP Vile Rat.

  9. Prince Sky Pirate Razzor "Higgins" Toxic Death the Astral Walker Razzor's Avatar
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    Its hard to speak positively with out being attacked as a fanboi of sorts but it is very refreshing to see someone running for CSM that will actually sperg rage the shit you would love to sperg at CCP when they pull there annual CSM bullshit.

    There I said it. Flame away faggots v0v

  10. Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex Snake's Avatar
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    You have 1 of my votes.

  11. Drama Queen of Lowsec Grarr Dexx's Avatar
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    Why aren't you lying?

  12. "It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane"
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    I generally avoid all the CSM bs like the plague, but (at the risk of sounding overly interested) your view on it is quite refreshing, so I will ponder, and if I can remember, I may actually vote for you.

  13. Promiscuous ThemePending's Avatar
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    While I am in the "fuck sovhavers" camp, thats a decent writeup.


    Prom 4 CSM (his opinions on solo are so polarized that it will strike a decent middle ground with the 00 folks)

  14. Piper in the Woods
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    so I heard Goons are putting up 2 candidates for CSM 6 ...

    I guess a "ruthless, manipulative bastard" would tell me just what I want to hear before the election and fuck me over afterwards... don't really see how this is any different from current CSM members.

  15. What Good Is a Glass Dagger? superstarmcawesome's Avatar
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    who'd have thought people would lie so they can get a free holiday in iceland.
    KKM - Kugutsumen Karma Mafia

  16. Prince Sky Pirate Razzor "Higgins" Toxic Death the Astral Walker Razzor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dagny Bronstein View Post
    so I heard Goons are putting up 2 candidates for CSM 6 ...

  17. Piper in the Woods
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    Quote Originally Posted by Razzor View Post
    the voices in my head never lie!!

    (guess the correct way to put it would have been "there will be 2 CSM candidates that are members of Goonswarm Federation (+ any number of goon trolls that just like to see their name on a poll) ")

  18. Adjustment Team
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    I have some web design jobs for you if you're interested
    Seriously though, if you're running I have to vote for you :]

  19. Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Mittani View Post

    etc etc, just click the link. candidacies have been accepted formally and now we get to watch the dog and pony show

    since i'm fairly secure in my position i've chosen to take a gigantic public dump on the whole process because it's full of bullshit, liars and fools, which will hopefully make a lot of pubbies very angry.
    Mittens can u put in like 5 bullet watcha offering?

  20. Shoot blues, Tell Vile Rat. Vile rat's Avatar
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    Vileratforcsm.org

    I would like your vote :vinata:

  21. King of Space The Mittani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dagny Bronstein View Post
    I guess a "ruthless, manipulative bastard" would tell me just what I want to hear before the election and fuck me over afterwards... don't really see how this is any different from current CSM members.
    the fact that i have an entire bloc lined up to vote for me means i don't have to blow smoke up your ass. if i was lying to you, i'd pick a popular position that plays well with the majority of eve players. it'd be beary because lol empire, and it's probably be anti-nullsec because sovhavers are presently being blamed for the bullshit half-implemented crap in dominion
    [twitter]themittani[/twitter]

  22. What Good Is a Glass Dagger? Jm24's Avatar
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    Where is the russian/french version of your campaign promises? Are you pro daroh? I need more details to make a decision.

  23. King of Space The Mittani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by riverini View Post
    Mittens can u put in like 5 bullet watcha offering?
    no.
    [twitter]themittani[/twitter]

  24. King Dong Fartman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vile rat View Post
    Vileratforcsm.org

    I would like your vote :vinata:
    no tattoo pic on website, no vote

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Mittani View Post
    no.
    You just lost the "giggle vote" base...

  26. Prince Sky Pirate Razzor "Higgins" Toxic Death the Astral Walker Razzor's Avatar
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    So 1 then.

  27. That's so money Thirsty McDrinkerston's Avatar
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    Are you going to fix lag?
    I'm not what you call a "good" poster

  28. God is dead. They found his carcass in 2019.. Arrador's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thirsty McDrinkerston View Post
    Are you going to fix lag?
    [Arrador] possesses a considerable understanding of ship configurations, strengths and weakness. He gives clear and purposeful instructions, is good at taking advantage of the fleet-composition he's dealt, and never loses sight of the main goal: fun. This, paired with an excellent tolerance for strong drink gives him an almost Churchillian capability to win, despite being completely pissed on booze most of the fleet operation.

  29. Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Razzor View Post
    So 1 then.
    tell that to Norm Coleman...

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_...innesota,_2008

    Seriously, i just read the whole stuff, and so far an just seen lots of essence but none of the substance... that's is, I feel you guys aren't committing to anything solid yet. and am being serious and constructive here, no trolling business.


    Quote Originally Posted by Thirsty McDrinkerston View Post
    Are you going to fix lag?
    This is a prime example of what to commit to.

  30. King Dong Fartman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by riverini View Post
    (lag).. is a prime example of what to commit to.
    thankfully we have you around to remind us of these things!

  31. Prince Sky Pirate Razzor "Higgins" Toxic Death the Astral Walker Razzor's Avatar
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    Riv your trolls are terrible but I don't think im telling you anything that you dont take great pride in.

  32. This is harsh. Evaluate me
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Mittani View Post
    the fact that i have an entire bloc lined up to vote for me means i don't have to blow smoke up your ass. if i was lying to you, i'd pick a popular position that plays well with the majority of eve players. it'd be beary because lol empire, and it's probably be anti-nullsec because sovhavers are presently being blamed for the bullshit half-implemented crap in dominion

    Personally, you have one of my votes, just for the initial approach, how do you feel about working alongside someone like Trebor?


    Just to put it in perspective, I feel Trebor is a good candidate, has good vision alongside experience in the games industry, so knows about the problems apparent in EVE and would like to see him on the CSM again.

  33. Ask Me About My Flux Capacitor Fix Lag's Avatar
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    Are you going to fix lag?

  34. The Alien Mind
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    I like how your agenda basically is "the CSM itself sucks".

  35. King of Space The Mittani's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nooodz View Post
    Personally, you have one of my votes, just for the initial approach, how do you feel about working alongside someone like Trebor?


    Just to put it in perspective, I feel Trebor is a good candidate, has good vision alongside experience in the games industry, so knows about the problems apparent in EVE and would like to see him on the CSM again.
    i'd have to meet him in person to tell you. the most dangerous csm rep is the type who does not know the boundaries of his own ignorance. eve is too big to have one person have complete understanding of every aspect of the game. if he's a nice guy who 'gets' that there are things he doesn't know about i don't think it'd be a problem, just like how i understand that issues relating to the market aren't my zone of expertise

    i worry more about the candidates who will win despite being obviously wrong about facts. such as the 'jump bridges don't appear on the overview' guy.

    in practice though i'm charismatic as fuck and will make the best of it vOv
    [twitter]themittani[/twitter]

  36. This is harsh. Evaluate me
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fix Lag View Post
    Are you going to fix lag?
    That fits your tagline.

    "Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."

  37. Prince Sky Pirate Razzor "Higgins" Toxic Death the Astral Walker Razzor's Avatar
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    If we vote you in can you guarantee us that for the 1st filmed CSM meeting that you will be dressed up exactly like your avatar. If so you have my alts votes aswell.

  38. I'm Only in It for the Money Grim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fix Lag View Post
    Are you going to fix lag?
    Yes, he is so amazing he will fix lag all by himself.

    I didn't read your site yet, but what is your platform, besides the general statement of "I will fix 0.0."
    If you kill enough of them they stop fighting - Gen. Curtis Lemay
    Fear the KKM

  39. This is harsh. Evaluate me
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Mittani View Post
    i'd have to meet him in person to tell you. the most dangerous csm rep is the type who does not know the boundaries of his own ignorance. eve is too big to have one person have complete understanding of every aspect of the game. if he's a nice guy who 'gets' that there are things he doesn't know about i don't think it'd be a problem, just like how i understand that issues relating to the market aren't my zone of expertise

    i worry more about the candidates who will win despite being obviously wrong about facts. such as the 'jump bridges don't appear on the overview' guy.

    in practice though i'm charismatic as fuck and will make the best of it vOv
    That is actually the impression I get about the guy, he wants to improve 'the game' has a lot of good ideas but admits there are sections that he doesn't understand, yet he comes across as a dogged individual that has honest overtones.

  40. King Dong Fartman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Razzor View Post
    If we vote you in can you guarantee us that for the 1st filmed CSM meeting that you will be dressed up exactly like your avatar
    he can borrow avalloc's wheelchair

  41. God is dead. They found his carcass in 2019.. Phey Onat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vile rat View Post
    Vileratforcsm.org

    I would like your vote :vinata:
    Your webpage triggered my gov firewall and i've flagged the dreaded IT goblins who maintain the uspto. P. sure I have to narfle the garthok now

  42. Shoot blues, Tell Vile Rat. Vile rat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Phey Onat View Post
    Your webpage triggered my gov firewall and i've flagged the dreaded IT goblins who maintain the uspto. P. sure I have to narfle the garthok now
    Must be all the porn.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Grim View Post

    I didn't read your site yet, but what is your platform, besides the general statement of "I will fix 0.0."

  44. That's so money Thirsty McDrinkerston's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vile rat View Post
    Vileratforcsm.org

    I would like your vote :vinata:
    Since mittani says he can't fix lag. Can you?
    I'm not what you call a "good" poster

  45. This is harsh. Evaluate me
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nooodz View Post
    That is actually the impression I get about the guy, he wants to improve 'the game' has a lot of good ideas but admits there are sections that he doesn't understand, yet he comes across as a dogged individual that has honest overtones.
    Same with Roc Wieler - who ran the Capsuleer iPhone app - and who is standing.
    e.g. he didn't know much about one of the hot topics, JBs, talked to his alliance and a few others and came up with some general ideas of how they might be improved/changed while realising that strong nerfing would be a huge mistake. To me he comes off as more concerned with generally improving the game than specific ways it should be done.

  46. Banned
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    @razzor: time to stop drinking the kool aid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Thirsty McDrinkerston View Post
    Since mittani says he can't fix lag. Can you?
    Current EN24.com stance of this to all candidates:

    If they are going to be evasive with the "committing goals issue" I got a cosmopewlitan article there, if they go out and post, I got an analytic article there after discussing it with my advisors about the repercussions, if I get the cosmopewlitan article out and then they post their "goals", am going to take credit for incentive them to do it.

    In the end what I truly want to know if is how they are going to "fix 0.0" when the others CSM couldn't not and am pretty sure the current/past CMS had the same impetus and will than this new proposed all-star CSM, which am sure is a winning bet, but in the end there is the interesting issue of seeing how you gonna pressure them "man", when the "man" himself is the one making and changing the rules as the "man" see fit?

    ---

    @vinata: idk if this thread should go here, idk if serious discussions would be better, just a POV

  47. That's so money Thirsty McDrinkerston's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by riverini View Post
    @razzor: time to stop drinking the kool aid.



    Current EN24.com stance of this to all candidates:

    If they are going to be evasive with the "committing goals issue" I got a cosmopewlitan article there, if they go out and post, I got an analytic article there after discussing it with my advisors about the repercussions, if I get the cosmopewlitan article out and then they post their "goals", am going to take credit for incentive them to do it.

    In the end what I truly want to know if is how they are going to fix 0.0 when the others CSM couldn't not and am pretty sure the current/past CMS had the same impetus and will than this new proposed all-star CSM, which am sure is a winning bet, but in the end there is the interesting issue of seeing how you gonna pressure them "man", when the "man" himself is the one making and changing the rules as the "man" see fit?
    Dude! really? are you serious? walking away.
    I'm not what you call a "good" poster

  48. This is harsh. Evaluate me
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    BTW Mittani, are you willing to nerf Tech?

  49. Prince Sky Pirate Razzor "Higgins" Toxic Death the Astral Walker Razzor's Avatar
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    Serious now not trying to troll or be whitey or harsh but could murr or mods put in some kind of 'vote lock' option to stop riv from posting in threads if x amount of people choose to lock it.

  50. Banned
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    Quote Originally Posted by Razzor View Post
    Serious now not trying to troll or be whitey or harsh but could murr or mods put in some kind of 'vote lock' option to stop riv from posting in threads if x amount of people choose to lock it.
    so, now u giving orders to mods and running the k.com show...

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