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  1. God damn these electric sex pants Marivauder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agathor View Post
    Russian Kids Are Fucking Insane




    video
    Not gonna lie when i was watching that i was thinking "holy shit they just pushed her off a building" then she swang

  2. I'm Only in It for the Money Grim's Avatar
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    And they wonder why Russians have such low life expectancies.
    If you kill enough of them they stop fighting - Gen. Curtis Lemay
    Fear the KKM

  3. Troll Jegeren Barry Zuckerkorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CNN
    Hackers appeared to have commandeered the YouTube page of the venerable "Sesame Street" children's show Sunday, reprogramming the page with content brought to you by the letter "X."The show page was taken offline Sunday afternoon, and visitors were greeted with a message from the video website informing them it had been shut down "due to repeated or severe violations of our community guidelines." Users who called up the account earlier had found explicit sex videos instead of Muppets.

    "YouTube's Community Guidelines prohibit graphic content," a YouTube representative told CNN. "As always, we remove inappropriate material as soon as we are made aware of it."

    Sesame Workshop, the non-profit organization behind Sesame Street, issued an apology Sunday.

    "Our channel was compromised and we are presently working with YouTube/Google to restore our original content," the group said. "We always strive to provide age-appropriate content for our viewers and hope to resolve this problem quickly."
    Search engine giant Google owns YouTube.

    A message posted on the page before the content was removed claimed responsibility in the names of two YouTube users, one of whom denied responsibility in a statement on his own page.


    "I did not hack Sesame Street. I am an honest YouTuber," the user, identified as "MrEdxwx," posted on his account. "I work hard to make quality gameplay videos, and most important I respect the community guidelines."
    http://www.cnn.com/2011/10/16/tech/s...html?hpt=hp_c2

  4. That's so money Thirsty McDrinkerston's Avatar
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    'A 30-year-old man who tried to turn his own faeces into gold by putting it on an electric heater has been jailed for three months. Paul Moran's bizarre experiment caused around £3,000 worth of damage to his Housing Executive flat at Derrin Park in Enniskillen. He admitted arson and endangering the lives of others. He was given a one-month concurrent sentence for throwing his excrement around a holding cell at Enniskillen Police Station. Upon his release he will spend a further 12 months on licence. His Honour Judge McFarland told him: "Rather bizarely you were attempting to make gold from human faeces and waste products." He described it as "an interesting experiment to fulfil the alchemist's dream", adding that it was never going to succeed' - The Impartial Reporter
    I'm not what you call a "good" poster

  5. I'm Only in It for the Money Grim's Avatar
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    South Korea paid the sister of a fallen soldier $4 (USD) in compensation. Some people are pissed off.

    http://newsfeed.time.com/2011/10/19/korean-woman-compensated-4-for-death-of-brother-during-korean-war/
    If you kill enough of them they stop fighting - Gen. Curtis Lemay
    Fear the KKM

  6. That's so money Thirsty McDrinkerston's Avatar
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    'A Zimbabwean man has told a court that he hired a prostitute who during the night transformed into a donkey, and that he is now "seriously in love" with the animal, state media said on Wednesday. "I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with [the] donkey," Sunday Moyo told the court, according to The Herald newspaper. Moyo, 28, was arrested in the town of Zvishavane, about 300km south of the capital Harare on Sunday. He said he had paid $25 to a prostitute, and was surprised on Sunday morning when he heard people accusing him of having sex with a donkey. Moyo has been charged with bestiality. The court has ordered him to undergo a mental examination, The Herald said' - AFP
    I'm not what you call a "good" poster

  7. That's so money Thirsty McDrinkerston's Avatar
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    'A woman who admitted biting off her boyfriend's testicles has been warned she could be jailed. Maria Topp, 44, from Wreckenton, Gateshead, Tyne and Wear, pleaded guilty to grievous bodily harm at Newcastle Crown Court. She bit Martin Douglas, her partner of five years, during a drunken brawl at 4am at his flat in February. She was granted bail to be sentenced next month and Recorder Robin Mairs warned her: 'All options are open and that will include locking you up.' Mr Douglas needed emergency surgery to re-attach his genitals after the attack, which Topp remembers little about. The 45-year-old DJ had called 999 in excruciating pain from his Newcastle home to report his plight after the assault. Operators had struggled to understand what he was saying due to his condition during the call' - The Daily Mail
    I'm not what you call a "good" poster

  8. Troll Jegeren Barry Zuckerkorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CNN
    CNN) -- Can killer whales sue SeaWorld for enslavement?A lawsuit filed Wednesday by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and other "next friends" of five SeaWorld killer whales takes that novel legal approach.
    The 20-page complaint asks the U.S. District Court in Southern California to declare that the five whales -- Tilikum, Katina, Corky, Kasatka, and Ulises -- are being held in slavery or involuntary servitude in violation of the 13th Amendment.
    A PETA statement said the lawsuit is the first of its kind in contending that constitutional protections against slavery are not limited to humans.

    "Plaintiffs were forcibly taken from their families and natural habitats, are held captive at SeaWorld San Diego and SeaWorld Orlando, denied everything that is natural to them, subjected to artificial insemination or sperm collection to breed performers for defendants' shows, and forced to perform, all for defendants' profit," the lawsuit says, arguing that those conditions amount to enslavement and/or forced servitude.
    A SeaWorld statement called the lawsuit a baseless publicity stunt by PETA, which is known for provocative advertisements and public demonstrations on behalf of animal rights.



    Some peoples kids.

  9. Inconstant Moon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Zuckerkorn View Post



    Some peoples kids.
    From what I understand, most animal rights activists, especially ones in the medical community, think PETA are a bunch of incoherent assholes. Sadly, they're the ones that get all the coverage.
    Caeleste naves interretis gravissimas sunt

  10. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    It isn't quite the cod war, but conservationists and the UK Foreign Office can claim a significant victory over Iceland without even sending a gunboat.
    Within hours of the Foreign Office updating its travel advice to British tourists, warning that they faced possible imprisonment or fines of up to £5,000 if they brought home whale meat, authorities withdrew the food from sale at Keflavik airport.


    About 70,000 Britons a year visit Iceland and the WCDS is also alerting tourists to the part they may play in keeping Icelandic whaling alive, claiming that up to 40% of minke whale meat from local waters is eaten by visitors in local restaurants. Local whalers are also trying to win tourists over by offering them trips out to sea.
    Fining your own people 5000 pounds is considered a significant victory now? Mehh I give you this one, you won this battle UK !!!

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/environmen...port-withdrawn

  11. God is dead. They found his carcass in 2019.. Aurora148's Avatar
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    just do what everyone does and peel off the labels. If they ask at customs tell them its beef steak, they aren't going to go do genetic testing on it.

  12. God is dead. They found his carcass in 2019.. Aurora148's Avatar
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    Teens using vodka tampons to get drunk

    PHOENIX (KPHO) - It's no secret teenagers sometimes experiment with alcohol, even drugs, but new ways they're finding to get drunk had jaws dropping in our newsroom.

    "Quicker high, they think it's going to last longer, it's more intense," said Dr. Dan Quan from Maricopa Medical Center.
    "This is not isolated to any school, any city, any financial area," Officer Chris Thomas, a school resource officer, said. "This is everywhere."
    When we heard how kids are getting drunk these days, we thought no way.
    So we hit up the experts to find out if it's an urban legend or if it's legit.
    "There's been documented cases of people going to the hospital with alcohol poisoning just from utilizing it that way," Thomas said.
    Thomas spends his days patrolling the halls of a Valley high school. He's heard first hand how kids are getting tipsy.
    "What we're hearing about is teenagers utilizing tampons, soak them in vodka first before using them," Thomas said.
    "It gets absorbed directly into the bloodstream. There's no barrier, there's no stomach acid to prevent it," Thomas said.
    "I would expect it to absorb pretty quickly as well, because it's a very vascular structure," Quan told CBS 5.
    "This is definitely not just girls," Thomas said. "Guys will also use it and they'll insert it into their rectums."
    And that's not all.
    "Using a beer bong rectally is the same concept as a vodka soaked tampon," Thomas said.
    Rather than the traditional beer bong you'd find at a college party, kids are sticking the tube elsewhere to get wasted.
    They're calling it "butt chugging."
    "A lot of people believe it would cover it up, your breath won't smell like alcohol so you can hide it from the parents, hide it from police," Thomas said.
    But take it from this cop, it won't work.
    It's not just jail time that might be a problem, these new tricks are really risky and could cause some serious problems.
    "It can cause mucosal irritation, meaning the vaginal wall can be irritated," Quan said.
    Plus, what if you over do it? Irritation could be the least of your problems.
    "Some of the dangers associated with this is there's no barrier," Thomas said.
    There's also no gag reflex, and if it isn't going down the hatch you won't have that tell tale sign you've had too much to drink, which means you won't throw up if you've got alcohol poisoning, and you'll pass out before you know there's a problem.
    "It's problematic because you don't really know how much you're going to absorb," Quan said.
    It turns out that a super tampon can hold about a shot of vodka, which is pretty potent when it's going straight into your system.
    "If the person does pass out or lose consciousness, health care professionals won't necessarily know that they have to look in those areas and that may delay treatment," Quan said.
    If you're a parent of a teenager, what can you do to make sure tampons are used for the job they're intended and nothing more?
    "Well then you need to get involved," Thomas said. "Stop being your kid's friend and be their parent first."
    Another myth is that kids apparently think getting drunk that way means they would pass a breathalyzer test because they didn't drink the booze, but that's not true. The test checks out what's in your blood stream, not what's on your breath.

    http://www.wsmv.com/story/15981315/teens-using-vodka-tampons-to-get-drunk

  13. The Gripping Hand somedude76's Avatar
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    http://gawker.com/5528131/butt+chugg...tag=television

    More about the "butt chug", also know as "boofing" if your interested. ROFL

    Fucking kids today.

  14. God is dead. They found his carcass in 2019.. Aurora148's Avatar
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    http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/standa...after-binge.do

    A police firearms officer who went on a drinking spree in London ended up sleeping the night in a protester's tent outside St Paul's Cathedral.

    Pc Gary Withers faces disciplinary action after he took refuge in the anti-capitalist "tent city" after allegedly being thrown out of the Savoy Hotel.

    The officer, a marksman with the City of London Police, was celebrating with colleagues after passing a firearms course last week.

    Pc Withers, 35, ended up at the Savoy in the Strand but was reportedly asked to leave before he walked on to the Occupy London camp.

    Protesters are said to have taken pity on him after he turned up late at night without anywhere to stay.

    The next morning he was recognised by colleagues on duty outside the cathedral as he stumbled from a tent.

    One source told The Sun: "He had a good drink and finally ended up at the Savoy where he was apparently asked to leave. He then must have walked to St Paul's where there has been a party going on every night. He got chatting to a few of the crusties and, feeling a bit sorry for him, they invited him to kip the night in a tent.

    "The following morning he was woken up and didn't know where he was or what he was doing. Gary, who is ex-Army, had the shock of his life when he realised he had joined up with the crusties sleeping under the stars."

    The City of London Police professional standards unit is investigating and considering disciplinary action, though it is unclear if the officer has broken any rules.

    The source added: "He had not been causing a nuisance to anyone. But the governors will have a word in his ear because it is not ideal for a police officer to be sleeping in a tent with the globalists outside St Paul's where his mates are all on duty.

    "He is feeling very embarrassed. But all his mates think it's hilarious and nobody is really upset with him."

  15. The Gripping Hand somedude76's Avatar
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    Socorro police and the FBI are looking for four men who police say attacked and raped an elderly man who was out on his early-morning walk.
    Investigators said the 70-year-old was walking Thursday around 6 a.m. at Valle del Sol Park on Valle Rico Road and Valle Fertil when they said four black men got out of a late-'90s Ford or Chevrolet van or minivan and demanded the Mexican-American man to give them money. When he said, "No," they allegedly grabbed him, threw him in the van and raped him.


    Socorro spokesman David Garcia said the men yelled racial slurs at the victim as they assaulted him.
    "These four people know each other well enough to do something like this in front of each other. This is an atrocity!” Garcia said. “This man was somebody's dad. This man was somebody's brother, somebody's friend."


    He said the victim was so badly hurt, he had surgery and is in serious condition at a hospital.


    “I think that's ridiculous. A 70-year-old man getting taken and raped by an unknown vehicle, you know,” Christian Nevarez, 23, said. He lives in the neighborhood and said he usually wakes up early and sees several people taking walks along the park. He said children also walk to school early in the morning.


    Police said the attackers are in their mid-20s to 30s. Call Socorro police at 915-858-6986 if you have any information in this case.
    http://www.kfoxtv.com/news/news/elde...socorro/nFT9K/

  16. The Gripping Hand somedude76's Avatar
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    A Mexican girl has become a mother at the age of just 10, according to reports.

    The youngster arrived at a hospital in the city of Puebla, suffering from life-threatening complications in her 31-week pregnancy, including seizures.

    She gave birth by Caesarean section to a boy weighing 3.3lb at the Women's Hospital in the city, 60 miles south-east of Mexico City.

    Her premature son is now said to be in intensive care following a bout of pneumonia, but officials said his young mother visits the baby every day to breastfeed, according to the New York Daily News.

    The paper said the hospital revealed the baby boy is in a good condition considering his premature birth and the mother is recovering well after first coming to the centre on October 22.

    However, hospital director Rogelio Gonzalez told UpFrontNewswire that the birth had been reported to the state's Attorney General's Office, which is investigating whether the girl could have been raped and who the father is.

    Mexican state laws prevent young mothers having abortions unless they can prove they were the victim of sexual assault.

    The legal age of consent is 12(wtf? is this accurate?) and women who have abortions in Puebla face a fine or prison sentence if they are unable to prove they were sexually abused. However, the laws are currently under review.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...by-Mexico.html

  17. The Gripping Hand somedude76's Avatar
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    Hawaii's Garrett McNamara sets a world record by surfing a 90-foot wave off the coast of Praia do Norte in Portugal.

    Apparently this crazy bastard also has been up to Alaska to surf waves created by huge chunks of ice that break off of a coastal glacier!!

  18. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    GOSFORD dad Graham Lord prepared himself for the worst when he was told he had an aggressive stomach cancer.
    But the 59-year-old was determined to fight it. He endured seven gruelling sessions of chemotherapy, before undergoing surgery to remove 80 per cent of his gut.


    Then he was given the devastating news: he never had cancer in the first place.

    http://www.news.com.au/national/grah...-1226193612469

  19. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    This makes sense to me.


  20. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    If you click this link, you will not stop clicking next page.

    NSFW

    http://cheezhawtness.wordpress.com/


  21. Naturally I finished my set Stronke's Avatar
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    hmmm nipples
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  22. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    If you pick up a girl like this, you pray that she takes a huge shit on your chest. If she does not do that, you are most likely gonna get killed very soon.

  23. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by somedude76 View Post
    http://gawker.com/5528131/butt+chugg...tag=television

    More about the "butt chug", also know as "boofing" if your interested. ROFL

    Fucking kids today.
    The lines between American party games and obscure gay fetish porn is thin indeed.

  24. Naturally I finished my set Stronke's Avatar
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    Lookit dem boobies bounce.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  25. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    Jerry Saltz on Ragnar Kjartansson’s Transcendent Twelve-Hour Operatic Performance

    http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment...rformance.html

  26. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    Putin snubbed by Cameron on PM's Christmas card list

    THE SNUB LIST

    Vladimir Putin (Russia)
    Jacob Zuma (South Africa)
    Olafur Ragnar Grimsson (Iceland)<<<<<<<--------------- ROFL, I see we are well liked as always

    Hugo Chavez (Venezuela)
    Mahmoud Ahmedinejad (Iran)

    Hosni Mubarak (Egypt)
    Bashar Assad (Syria)
    Muammar Gaddafi (Libya)
    Robert Mugabe (Zimbabwe)
    Kim Jong-Il (North Korea)
    Alexander Lukashenko (Belarus)

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...=feeds-newsxml

  27. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    Tattoo artist, Ryan L. Fitzjerald was hit with a $100,000 lawsuit last week by his ex-girlfriend Rossie Brovent. She claims that her boyfriend was supposed to tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back but instead tattooed an image of a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.




    http://www.veryweirdnews.com/tattoo-...civil-lawsuit/

  28. What Good Is a Glass Dagger? Adri's Avatar
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    ^ My defense would be, " Narnia is like -A-"

  29. The Gripping Hand somedude76's Avatar
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  30. King Dong Fartman's Avatar
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    ok which one of you did this http://www.thelocal.se/37540/20111124/#


  31. The Gripping Hand somedude76's Avatar
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    http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2011/12/...-bad-decision/




    CHICAGO (CBS) — Robbing a man who turned out to be an ultimate fighter proved to be a bad decision for a convicted felon, who is now in bad shape as he is held on bond.

    Police say around 11:30 p.m. Friday, Anthony Miranda, 24, walked up to a car parked at 55th Street and Kenneth Avenue, just a few blocks from Midway International Airport.

    Miranda asked the driver for a lighter, and the driver said he didn’t have one. Then Miranda pulled a handgun and demanded that the driver hand over his money, police said.

    Even after the driver complied and gave up some money, Miranda ordered him out of his car, police said.

    At some point, Miranda’s attention was diverted and the victim was able to grab control of the gun and the two wrestled.

    During the fight, Miranda accidentally discharged his own gun, shooting himself in the ankle, police said.

    The victim — who told police he is a martial arts expert and ultimate fighter — was able to pin Miranda down until police arrived.
    Police arrived to find Miranda with a face full of lacerations and two black eyes. He was taken to Holy Cross Hospital for treatment, police said.
    Miranda, a convicted felon, is charged with armed robbery and aggravated discharge of a firearm, a Class X felony.

    He was ordered held on $350,000 bond Sunday, according to the Cook County Sheriff’s office.

    Records show he has several convictions, including at least one for a residential burglary.

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    http://bikyamasr.com/50403/islamic-c...l-resemblance/

    CAIRO: An Islamic cleric residing in Europe said that women should not be close to bananas or cucumbers, in order to avoid any “sexual
    thoughts. ”
    The unnamed sheikh, who was featured in an article on el-Senousa news, was quoted saying that if women wish to eat these
    food items, a third party, preferably a male related to them such as their a father or husband, should cut the items into small pieces and
    serve. He said that these fruits and vegetables “resemble the male penis” and hence could arouse women or “make them think of sex.”


  33. Troll Jegeren Barry Zuckerkorn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tulsa Wrold
    A woman was arrested in a Tulsa Walmart late Thursday afternoon while allegedly attempting to make meth from items she had gathered in the store, police said.

    Walmart security watched the woman, who was acting suspiciously and made her way to the back of the store near restrooms, where she began mixing ingredients, Tulsa police Cpl. Scott Anderson said.


    Police arrested Alisha Halfmoon, 45, about 6 p.m. after Walmart security personnel called 911 to the store near 81st Street and Lewis Avenue, jail records show.


    Halfmoon was booked without bond on complaint of endeavoring to manufacture, records show.


    "From what they told us, it was pretty strange," Anderson said.


    One officer may have been burned by sulfuric acid that had resulted from a chemical reaction in the box of items taken from the scene, Anderson said. Officer Richard Urban told officers he felt a burning sensation on his hand through his leather glove as he was carrying evidence from the scene, Anderson said. Urban removed his glove and washed off the substance, leaving no visible injury, Anderson said.


    The evidence collected at the scene included lithium and chemical drain cleaner, but no pseudoephedrine, Anderson said.


    "She maybe didn't know how to do it," he said.


    Halfmoon was released from jail Tuesday for a Nov. 6 arrest that led to charges of obtaining controlled drugs by forged script and possession of controlled drugs, jail records show.


    She was released on a deferred sentence, according to jail records.


    Read more from this Tulsa World article at http://www.tulsaworld.com/specialpro...4_Awoman405856
    And boy-howdy, what a looker!
    [Spoiler=And they say meth makes people unattractive!][/Spoiler]

  34. The Gripping Hand somedude76's Avatar
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    http://www.wyff4.com/r/30037563/detail.html

    Police: Man Trying To Hide Drug Evidence In Squad Car

    North Charleston Police Department



    A South Carolina man's brother died after police said he was forced to eat cocaine hidden in his brother's backside.Both brothers were taken into custody on allegations they had drugs in their car.But police told Charleston, S.C., TV station WCIV there were additional drugs hidden in 23-year-old Deangelo Mitchell's backside.Officers said Deangelo Mitchell convinced his brother, 20-year-old Wayne Mitchell, to swallow the ounce of cocaine to hide the evidence. He died soon afterward."It's sickening," North Charleston Police Chief Jon Zumalt told WCIV. "I got upset when I saw the thing. I was pretty shocked on it."Deangelo Mitchell already bonded out of jail on the drug charge, but now police are looking for him again on charges of involuntary manslaughter.

  35. That's so money Thirsty McDrinkerston's Avatar
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    'A patient died in hospital after his penis was allegedly nibbled by rats. Arun Sandhukha, 53, from Sreerampore in Hooghly, was admitted to the new emergency ward of the at the SSKM Hospital in Kolkata, West Bengal on December 11 with pneumonia. But on December 23, when his family came to visit him, he was lying on the bed in agony, surrounded by pool of his own blood, the Asian Age newspaper reported.

    'No nurse was found at the scene and he was writhing in pain. His penis had been nibbled by rats,' one of his relatives Bishwanath alleged to the newspaper. Later that day, at around 4.15pm, Mr Sadhukha died of his horrific injuries. The hospital authorities have admitted the presence of rats at the ward, Bishwanath claimed' - The Daily Mail
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  36. That's so money Thirsty McDrinkerston's Avatar
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    'A Garden Grove woman was indicted by the Orange County grand Jury Thursday on torture and mayhem charges in the cutting off of a man's penis after tying him to his bed. Catherine Kieu, 48, now faces a potential life term in prison without the possibility of parole if convicted.

    'She was living with the 60-year-old man July 11 when the couple argued over the possibility of a friend staying at their residence on a future date, prosecutors said. She then served him dinner and waited until he became tired and went to bed. Sometime during the night, Kieu tied the victim's legs and arms to the four corners of the bed with nylon ropes, according to police reports. When the man awoke, Kieu grabbed the man's penis and severed it with a kitchen knife, according to prosecutors. Kieu then took the severed penis to the kitchen, threw it into the garbage disposal and turned it on, mutilating the severed organ' - The Orange County Register
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  37. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    A 22-year-old Navy SEAL accidentally shot himself in the head Thursday with a gun that he thought was unloaded.


    San Diego Police Department Officer Frank Cali said that the SEAL had been drinking with a woman at a bar. After returning to his Pacific Beach home, he had tried to convince the woman that his 9 mm pistol was safe to handle by putting it to his head and pulling the trigger.


    The man was later identified as Geno Clayton, the son of a local businessman. While authorities initially reported that Clayton had died in the accident, he is now on life support.
    Shooting yourself in the head to show a girl how hardcore you are is a bit overboard.

    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/01/0...-unloaded-gun/

  38. Troll Jegeren Barry Zuckerkorn's Avatar
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    Tiger Woods' ex shows us just how rich she is...
    The former wife of Tiger Woods has demolished the $12.3-million oceanfront mansion she purchased just last year, according to news reports. The home was chock-full of amenities: 17,000-square feet. Eight bathrooms. In-ground pool. Elevator. So, why did she do it?

    The divorced mother of two young children simply wanted something bigger and better, a dream mansion, according to the Palm Beach Post. "It was a beautiful place, incredible landscaping, fantastic ocean frontage," Realtor John True told the Post. "I heard that the original plan was to renovate. But once they started, I heard they decided to tear it down."


    http://www.hlntv.com/article/2012/01...sion?hpt=hp_c2

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    Police: Woman donned mustache, beanie to rob neighbors
    The Salt Lake City Tribune reported that the 31-year-old woman's disguise didn't fool anyone for long, though:
    How did it fool them at all?

    http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/01/06/10004791-police-woman-donned-mustache-beanie-to-rob-neighbors
    "But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.
    "Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
    "How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.
    "You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

  40. That's so money Thirsty McDrinkerston's Avatar
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    'A swearing rescue parrot called Mr T is to be rehabilitated so he can help teach in schools and universities. The green-winged macaw was rescued from a private home where he lived for seven years and was taught a number of rude words. The bird is to be re-educated in a bid to help clean up his potty mouth so he can help teach school children about the environment. The naughty parrot's favourite words and phrases currently include 'b*gger off', sh*t and 'you b*stard'. Mr T now lives in a more suitable home with a number of other parrots; hopefully he won't teach his new friends his favourite words though. It is hoped that Mr T will be able to join the other parrots as they tour schools and universities, but he will have to be able to hold his tongue first. Until then the foul-mouthed macaw is currently banned from schools' - Metro
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  41. Go fuck yourself Frodo!
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    An Oregon judge has used his force to order a 45-day jail sentence and mental health evaluation for a would-be Jedi who attacked toy store customers with a pair of lightsabers.
    David Allen Canterbury, 33, told Judge Kenneth Walker that he is already seeking mental health treatment. Canterbury also apologized to his victims.
    The Oregonian reported that Canterbury pleaded no contest Monday to assault and resisting arrest.
    Canterbury had a "Star Wars" lightsaber in each hand as he swung at three customers last Dec. 14 at a Toys R Us store, Portland police said. He carried the lightsabers outside the store and swung at police.
    According to The Oregonian, police attempted to shoot Canterbury with a Taser but the suspected deflected one of the wires away.
    Officers eventually wrestled him to the ground.
    No one was injured, the newspaper reported.
    Canterbury has been banned from the toy store.

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    'A 69-year-old Palm Springs woman who allegedly tried to cut off her husband's penis with heavy-duty scissors is due in an Indio courtroom tomorrow for arraignment. Virginia Valdez is charged with one count each of inflicting corporal injury on a spouse and assault with a deadly weapon. She posted $100,000 bail and was released from jail Dec. 5, two days after Palm Springs police went to the couple's residence in the 1700 block of Rochelle Road after getting a call from Valdez's 62-year-old husband, Palm Springs police Sgt, Melissa Desmaris said. Detective Simon Min wrote in a declaration in support of an arrest warrant that the two were having oral sex and Valdez was massaging her husband's "intimate areas." She allegedly said she had to brush her teeth, then "retrieved a pair of scissors and cut the victim's penis." - The Valley
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  43. The Fourth Profession teds's Avatar
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    Sainsbury's is renaming its tiger bread after a letter a three-year-old girl wrote to the company, saying the bread looked more like a giraffe, went viral.
    Lily's letter said: "Why is tiger bread called tiger bread? It should be called giraffe bread. Love from Lily Robinson age 3 and 1/2".Chris King from the Sainsbury's customer services team wrote back: "I think renaming tiger bread giraffe bread is a brilliant idea - it looks much more like the blotches on a giraffe than the stripes on a tiger, doesn't it?"

    "It is called tiger bread because the first baker who made it a looong time ago thought it looked stripey like a tiger. Maybe they were a bit silly."
    He included a £3 gift card, and signed the letter "Chris King (age 27 & 1/3)".


    "In response to overwhelming customer feedback that our tiger bread has more resemblance to a giraffe, from today we will be changing our tiger bread to giraffe bread and seeing how that goes," the supermarket said.
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-16812545

    huge dawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    Attachment 2424

  44. The Viking King Agathor's Avatar
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    Seems like fun.


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    An undercover policeman 'chased himself' around the streets for more than 20 minutes after a bungling CCTV operator mistook him for a suspect. The rookie officer was staking out an area in Sussex hit by a spate of burglaries when he was radioed about someone 'acting suspiciously' in the area. The CCTV operator directed the policeman in pursuit, telling him he was 'hot on his heels' of the suspect - not realising the person he was watching on camera was the plain-clothed officer himself. The policeman spent around 20 minutes 'giving chase' before a sergeant came into the CCTV control room and recognised that the 'suspect' was in fact a member of his team. The error was revealed in police federation magazine Police this week by a senior officer' - The Daily Mail.
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    oh no guys! trolls! trolls!


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    An angry Chinese woman in Xiaoxian, Jiangxi province, China, sliced off her husband’s testicles while he was sleeping, in order to protect her ]marriage. The Chinese woman Li is a gynecologist and also a good mother; she takes good care of their two children. Her husband Huang had an 18-year-old mistress two years ago. Li asked for a divorce but Huang refused.

    Huang was suffered from diarrhea last month; Li gave him sleeping pills instead of medicine. While Huang was sleeping, Li removed his testicles with a fruit knife.
    Li was arrested] but Huang pleaded police to give her leniency because he felt responsible for the tragedy.






  48. The Gripping Hand somedude76's Avatar
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    It was always going to be unwise naming a restaurant that glorifies unhealthy food the Heart Attack Grill.
    And on Saturday the inevitable happened when a customer suffered a cardiac arrest in the chain's Las Vegas branch.
    An onlooker captured video of paramedics wheeling the unidentified man, thought to be in his 40s, out of the fast-food diner.
    He was midway through eating a 6,000-calorie Triple Bypass Burger when he began experiencing chest pains.




    Living up to its name: A customer is wheeled out of the Heart Attack Grill restaurant in Las Vegas on Saturday night after suffering cardiac arrest




    6,000 calories: The Triple Bypass Burger contains three slabs of meat, 12 rashes of bacon, cheese, red onion, sliced tomato and a 'unique special sauce'

    The restaurant chain - founded in 2005 using the catchphrase 'Taste Worth Dying For!' - is run by a former nutritionist 'Doctor' Jon Basso who, remarkably, used to run a Jenny Craig weight loss diet centre.

    He denied the incident was an elaborate publicity stunt.
    The opening line of this article is annoying. Why is it unwise? If anything it's smart considering what they do. The name implies; "hey, if you eat this shit all the time, you're going to die." That would help the joint in any law suit I would think.

    Also, my god, that burger looks delicious.

    I really would like to go here sometime. Although I wouldn't qualify for the "Eat free if you're over 350lbs" deal, I would like the sexy waitresses dressed as nurses.






    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz1mVxMzWVG


    Here's a funny commercial from the burger joint.

  49. Go fuck yourself Frodo!
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    Woman bites lover's penis off in car crash


    A boss and his secretary who were having an affair saw their romantic tryst interrupted in a wince-inducing manner - after a car crash led her to accidentally bite his penis off.


    According to reports in China Press and Sin Chew Daily, the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on her boss in a car in a Singapore park, when the car was struck by a reversing van.
    Just in case this wasn't already bad enough for those involved, the incident was observed by a private detective who had been sent by the woman's husband to catch them out.The impact caused her to bite the man's penis off.He described how, shortly after parking, the car started to 'shake violently' - but then was hit by the van. He said that the woman screamed loudly, with her mouth covered in blood.

    Read more: http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/646575-...#ixzz1mgLDFOud


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    Ariz. sheriff quits Romney campaign, says: 'I'm gay

    http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/20...gn-says-im-gay

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