I can only imagine. Is it just me or does the fact that it was at Northwestern, an "elite" university, make this less surprising?Originally Posted by Vinata
I can only imagine. Is it just me or does the fact that it was at Northwestern, an "elite" university, make this less surprising?
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
'A man swiped almost £150,000 on a flight in the Caribbean after sneaking into the cash-laden cargo hold via the lavatory, police said on Thursday. The mid-air theft took place on an Air Antilles flight from the French island of Guadeloupe to the Franco-Dutch island of Saint Martin, which was carrying a total of 1.2 million euros on behalf of Brink's Security Company. Pretending to be ill, the man spent the majority of the 40 minute flight in the lavatory, where he succeeded in removing several wall panels to gain access to the hold in the rear of the plane. It wasn't until the plane landed that it was discovered that 172,000 euros (£148,000) were missing from the cargo.
'Shortly before landing, the unnamed man - who was travelling with a woman - asked a hostess for an ambulance to meet him on the tarmac, witnesses said. When the ambulance arrived, the man said he felt suddenly better and walked out of the airport without having to go through the normal security checks. Police have been unable to trace him. The alarm was raised when cleaners discovered bundles of notes in the lavatory cubicle, and police questioned the woman in the baggage arrival hall. She claimed she did not know the whereabouts of the money, which is still missing. Her companion has been identified as a French national living in Guadeloupe, but has still not been found by police. The search continues' - The Daily Telegraph
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
What a fucking boss! he actually got away!
hah'Virgin Blue has sacked a male flight attendant and offered an angry mother free flights after her toddler was put in an overhead locker. Natalie Williamson claims she, her 17-month-old son, Riley, and her now estranged husband were on a Virgin flight from Fiji to Sydney, when the flight attendant picked up Riley, placed him in the locker and closed the latch. Virgin has admitted an incident did take place, but claims Ms Williamson's husband was playing a peek-a-boo game with Riley involving the overhead compartment when the flight attendant joined in.
"We conducted a thorough investigation of the incident and the staff member involved was subsequently terminated," a Virgin spokeswoman said. The airline offered Ms Williamson three free flights, but the mother has said she is too shaken by the mid-air experience to redeem them. "My husband, Shayne, was standing one metre behind my son, Riley, when the air steward picked him up and placed him in the overhead compartment," she said. "I stood up and there were people laughing and then I said 'Get my son out of there now'," she told the Sunday Herald Sun. "I was devastated. I was absolutely devastated. I was crying. My husband was in shock. For days on end I was crying" - Herald Sun
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
Wasn't there another version in the Philappines where the thief had a homemade parachute made out of a sheet?
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'A man had surgery to re-attach his testicles after his girlfriend allegedly bit them off. Maria Georgina Topp, 43, has appeared in court accused of the gruesome attack on Martin Douglas. Martin, 45, had to dial 999 for an ambulance but was in so much pain it was difficult for operators to understand what he was saying. The couple had returned to his flat after a drunken night out when the attack is said to have happened at 4am. Paramedics who arrived contacted police due to the severity of his *injuries and Topp was arrested. Self-employed DJ Martin needed emergency surgery after the incident in Newcastle and spent days recovering from injuries to his genitals and an arm before he was released from hospital' - The Daily Mirror
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Protective mothers and stranger danger never produce good results. Best to pretend kids are invisible and use the carwash often
'A woman was rescued by firefighters after she was impaled - on a loo-roll holder. The plastic holder pierced the 69-year-old victim's neck as she slipped in her toilet. She was still conscious when rescuers arrived to free her with bolt-cutters. The unnamed woman was taken to hospital but only needed a few stitches. A fire department spokesman in Dallas, Texas, said: "She has bad knees and fell" - The Sun
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
I love this thread so much..
edit : that I stickied it. It probably doesn't need it but it surely deserves it.
~~~~GIMMIE +REP+ GIMMIE~~~~
Wow... I am at a loss."What I am doing for Britney now will help her become a star. I know one day she will be a model, actress or singer, and having these treatments now will ensure she stays looking younger and baby-faced for longer. I'm sure people reading this will think I am being irresponsible, but I ensure that I test the Botox and fillers I buy online on myself first. All I want is for Britney to have the best start in life, so it is easier for her to become a superstar. More mothers should do it for their daughters" - A lady named Kerry Campbell explains why she gives her eight-year-old daughter Botox injections every three months
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
Holy shit. BTW I also think this is one of the best thread on the site - GJ Thirsty. An Accountants day is never dull :P and thank god for it.
If you read the entire thread in one evening you will either go and live in a cave somewhere and shun all human contact or pull a Patrick Bateman
no way you could make this shit up:
Steven Seagal, Sheriff Raid Valley Home In Tank
http://www.kpho.com/news/27272012/detail.html
PHOENIX -- Sheriff Joe Arpaio rolled out the tanks to take down a man suspected of cockfighting.
West Valley residents in the neighborhood are crying foul after armored vehicles, including a tank, rolled into their neighborhood to make the bust.
(...)
Seagal was riding in the tank.
OK this one isn't great, but I have to mention it because I literally live 5 minutes from Black's Beach...
And, yes, the beach tends to attract old naked men so when I heard of 27 year old female I kind of got excited.SAN DIEGO - Lifeguards came to the rescue Tuesday of a hiker who got stuck -- in the buff -- while trying to make her way down a 500-foot-high coastal cliff to a beach popular with nudists.
The naked 27-year-old woman wound up precariously perched on a ledge about one-third of the way down the bluff about 2 p.m., uninjured but afraid to continue back up or down to Black's Beach below, lifeguard Lt. Andy Lerum said.
Emergency crews procured some clothing and sent a female lifeguard down to the trapped woman via safety lines, Lerum said. After the hiker donned the loaner garments along with a safety helmet, the guard strapped her into a rescue harness, and the pair were lowered gently onto the beach several hundred yards north of Torrey Pines Gliderport.
At that point, the woman was ticketed for ignoring posted warnings to stay off the sheer and unstable sandstone cliffs in the area. She then walked back up a well-traveled trail to where she'd parked her car.
Black's Beach has been widely considered a "clothing optional" recreation spot for decades, though lifeguards began handing out public nudity citations there some 12 years ago. Despite the effort to enforce a standard of modesty there, however, some insist on enjoying the scenic stretch of shoreline au naturel.
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
Now let's get back to the real news...
'A man found naked in a field amongst cow dung and mud had been sexually pleasuring himself, a court has heard. It was the same farm he had returned to over a period of seven years. He was discovered on Saturday by a child of the family on land at Woodbury House Farm, Tolgus Mount, Redruth. When police officers arrived soon after, they found him covered in a large amount of slurry and mud, in a quagmire, surrounded by tissues. This is the third time that he has appeared in court for this kind of behaviour. David Truscott, aged 41, of Pengegon Parc, Camborne, was sent to Truro Crown Court for sentence by Truro magistrates after he pleaded guilty to breaching a restraining order and to causing harassment to Clive Roth, of the family living on the farm.
'Jill Wilson, prosecuting, said the restraining order had been made in 2009 prohibiting Truscott from entering the farm for any reason. "There is a history of his visiting this particular farm seeking sexual gratification while immersed in cow dung and mud," she said. "This is the only place he seeks to gratify himself in this particular manner. It goes back seven years." The Roth family had suffered because of his behaviour, she went on, as it had affected their quality of life and their children who had been part of what was going on. "The family have to regularly check their livestock, outbuildings and equipment, as he has masturbated in a muck spreader and set fire to outbuildings, killing livestock in frustration when they cleaned out their farm equipment in an attempt to stop him from this lewd and obscene habit" - ThisIsTheWestCountry.co.uk
Not sure why you need tissues if you are handling your business in cow shit... Don't let the spunk dirty the... COW SHIT!
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
The judge called him 'socially inadequate'
Not Dead, Just Sleeping
This guy is a feminist, making a stand that not only women can make quilts.
Sexy? Victoria Sectret? all I see is knickers my grandma would wear :|
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A tourist says he was traumatized when Las Vegas police threatened to arrest him after he complained about an act of prostitution in his hotel room.
Hubert Blackman of New York City filed a lawsuit this month against a Las Vegas company he identified as Las Vegas Exclusive Personals. The lawsuit says the business operates on Paradise Road.
Blackman, a college student, said in an interview Thursday that he was on vacation and staying at the Stratosphere on Dec. 17 when he called Las Vegas Exclusive Personals to arrange for a stripper to come to his room and dance for him.
Blackman said the woman, who appeared to be in her mid 20s, stripped and performed a lap dance for $155 and a sex act for another $120.
He said that the next morning, he called Las Vegas Exclusive Personals to demand his money back, saying he was dissatisfied because the entertainer didn't stay for the promised one hour and left after a half hour.
Blackman said he also told the company he was incapable of making an informed agreement with the stripper because he was drunk at the time.
Dissatisfied when Las Vegas Exclusive Personals didn't arrange for a refund, Blackman said he contacted Metro Police and was told he faced arrest for such conduct and was advised to contact the Better Business Bureau.
Instead, after returning home he filed suit in federal court in New York, charging "An escort did an illegal sexual act on me during her paid service to me'' and "I almost had gotten arrested."
Blackman said he now needs medical treatment for a mental condition related to the incident.
In the suit, which he filed without an attorney, Blackman said: "I would like the court to close the business. I also would like to get my $275 payment back and a $1.8 million verdict for the tragic event that happened."
In the interview Thursday, Blackman said it was the dancer who solicited the sex act -- but he acknowledged he was aware at the time that prostitution was illegal in Las Vegas.
The number listed in Blackman's lawsuit is used by Hillsboro Enterprises, which says it's been licensed for 17 years and provides adult dancers on a subcontractor outcall basis.
Officials at Hillsboro said Thursday they were unaware of the lawsuit or of Blackman's claims, but denied the company is involved in prostitution. They said if anyone calls looking to hire a dancer and indicates they're looking for sex, they're told prostitution is illegal in Las Vegas and all of Clark County.
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" 'He would be clothed, with the jilbab [head scarf] on. He would turn and ask him to do it from behind. He would say he had tummy aches or menstrual period,' Darmayana said"'The short-lived marriage of 32-year-old Muhammad Umar came to an end over the weekend, courtesy of his wife, Fransiska Annastasya Oktaviany, aka Rahmat Sulistyo. Umar reported his wife to the Jatiasih Police subprecinct in Bekasi after neighbors in Bojongsari, Jatiasih, learned that he had been married to a man for the past six months. Bekasi City Police Chief Sr. Comr. Imam Sugianto said his officers were probing how Rahmat got fake identification. "Aside from investigating, we are doing our best to help the victim, Umar, who has problems with his eyes," Imam said. The identity of Umar's "wife" was revealed when neighbors stripped him, following months of speculation about whether he was indeed a woman. The locals, Imam said, had somehow gotten hold of Fransiska's ID and learned that his real name was Rahmat Sulistyo, a male resident of Pasar Rebo, East Jakarta.
"Umar's neighbors and friends became angry. Rahmat is being charged with providing false testimony in identification documentation as well as fraud," Imam said. Separately, Jatiasih Police subprecinct chief Adj. Comr. Darmayana said Umar had told police that he had never had sex completely naked with his wife. "He would be clothed, with the jilbab [head scarf] on. He would turn and ask him to do it from behind. He would say he had tummy aches or menstrual period," Darmayana said. "We are also going to question the 'parents' of this girl. They need to be charged as well." He said the couple were first acquainted on Facebook in August after Umar saw a picture of Fransiska, who claimed to be a Sriwijaya Airlines hostess. "He later introduced Umar to his 'parents.' We learned that Soepriyono and Wagirah had just been paid off Rp 200,000 each to claim that they were his parents to Umar - The Jakarta Globe
hah
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
'Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus has filed a lawsuit against a company that has produced a blow-up sex doll based on the Disney star's image. The doll features a western-themed outfit similar to those worn by Cyrus in the popular children's series. The 18-year-old singer and actress is reported to be "disgusted" by the doll. However, Pipedreams Products, the makers of the sex doll claim that all stock sold out within 48 hours. The release of the doll could not have come at a worse time for Miley who has recently been plagued by negative criticism for her wild ways. Her father, singer and actor Billy Ray Cyrus had expressed concern over her wellbeing after she was photographed smoking marijuana. She has also been voted the worst celebrity influence in an American poll. According to reports Miley has instituted a lawsuit against Pipedream Products in an attempt to save her already tarnished image. - IOL
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
Good stuff as always Thirsty.
non-penis non-sexual story...
'An elderly Georgian woman was scavenging for copper to sell as scrap when she accidentally sliced through an underground cable and cut off internet services to all of neighbouring Armenia, it emerged on Wednesday. The woman, 75, had been digging for the metal not far from the capital Tbilisi when her spade damaged the fibre-optic cable on 28 March. As Georgia provides 90% of Armenia's internet, the woman's unwitting sabotage had catastrophic consequences. Web users in the nation of 3.2 million people were left twiddling their thumbs for up to five hours as the country's main internet providers - ArmenTel, FiberNet Communication and GNC-Alfa - were prevented from supplying their normal service. Television pictures showed reporters at a news agency in the capital Yerevan staring glumly at blank screens. Large parts of Georgia and some areas of Azerbaijan were also affected.
"It was a 75-year-old woman who was digging for copper in the ground so that she could sell it for scrap," said a spokesman for Georgia's interior ministry said yesterday. Dubbed "the spade-hacker" by local media, the woman - who has not been named - is being investigated on suspicion of damaging property. She faces up to three years in prison if charged and convicted' - The Guardian
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
Thats wonderful
Not Dead, Just Sleeping
We'll start off with a delightful romp
'Veteran Hong Kong actor Law Lok-lam had an unusual run of bad luck when he set what could be a record by dying in five different soap operas in a 24-hour period last week. His character met a bloody end during a fight in the martial arts drama Grace Under Fire, and he vomited blood before expiring in Fate to Fate, the Sunday Morning Post reported. In Relic of an Emissary, Law played the Ming emperor Zhu Yuanzhang, who died after an illness. In two other shows, Police Station No. 7 and comedy Virtues of Harmony, the actor did not die on screen but his death was discussed, the paper said. Some fans criticised TVB (the Hong Kong broadcaster)on the internet for making him "die" so often in such a short space of time. A TVB spokesman quoted by the Post said: "It was purely a coincidence that Law died five times" - ABC.net
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Now we can move on to a topic that suits our Icelandic friend, Agathor, much much better...
'The Phallological Museum in Húsavík, northeast Iceland, boasts a complete collection of penises from Icelandic mammals after museum director Sigurdur Hjartarson formally puts the museum's first human specimen in place on Friday. The specimen was donated by Páll Arason, who passed away last year. Hjartarson told Fréttabladid he believes this latest addition to the museum's collection will increase its popularity. "It was the last specimen that I needed of the Icelandic mammal fauna and I firmly believe that it will improve and strengthen the museum," Hjartarson commented' - Iceland Review.com
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
Agathor: Have you visited the cock museum yet?
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ing-sofas.html
A mother-of-five has been diagnosed with a rare disorder called Pica after seeking medical help for her addiction... to eating sofas.
Adele Edwards, of Bradenton, Florida, has been eating the foam inside couch cushions for 21 years.
She sought help when the cravings started getting out of control.
Miss Edwards, 31, said: 'In the last year I’ve eaten seven sofas.
'I unzip the cushions and snack on the foam inside. And once I start I just can’t stop.
bahaha
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
'A car engine, a dead cow and bag of sand and sea water are amongst the strangest items that air passengers have tried to check in on flights. One lady even turned up at a JFK airport check-in desk with family members carrying her bath. It wasn't even wrapped or packaged. Check-in staff at Virgin Atlantic were also presented with a giant wheel of cheese and a tarantula hidden in a lady's coat, according to a survey by the airline from its 32 flying locations. Other passengers tried to check-in a bag of cutlery stolen from a previous Virgin Atlantic flight at Delhi Airport.
'For those who couldn't quite let go of their holiday there was a a couple who fell in love on the island of Grenada and decided to try and check in a bag full of sand, sea and water as a memory from the island. Greg Dawson, Director of Corporate Communications commented: "Virgin Atlantic check in staff see thousands of passengers on a daily basis but every now and then, a passenger will arrive at check in with something you would never expect - it certainly brightens up their day" - The Daily Telegraph
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'Police officers monitoring CCTV in a Chinese city were stunned to see a man trying to drive two bumper cars along a busy road. Officer Liu Yulin said he thought he was "seeing things" when he saw the man with the fairground cars in Taizhou, Zhejiang Province. "I was sweating," he said. "I saw the man sat in between the two cars with one feet on the accelerator of each." He radioed for a traffic patrol to stop the man and officers quickly rushed to the scene and ordered him to pull over to the side of the road.
'The man, Zhang, told them he owned the bumper cars and had rented a space at a nearby amusement park but business was slack. He had decided to take the battery-powered bumper cars to a busy pedestrianised area downtown in the hope of attracting brisker trade. Zhang told police that he and an assistant had been driving the cars but the assistant had been called away after receiving an urgent call. "I decided to try to drive them both because I didn't want to leave one blocking the road where it might be stolen," he added' - Orange
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
Nope , its on the other side of the Island. But the owner said he was thinking
about bringing it to Reykjavik the other day, so good news for next fanfest hehe.
I thought you lived in Greenland?
I dont think anyone lives in Greenland
'A housemaid in Dubai has chopped off her frisky boss's private parts after allegedly being pestered for a massage. The Ethiopian woman, who is in her 20s, claims that she was harassed and abused by her boss, a 70-year-old Emirati man, and finally lashed out with a knife, chopping off his penis, reports 7 Days. An official from Dubai Police commented on the attack, which took place on Monday, saying: 'Our command room received a call from the man who was yelling in pain. We sent a police patrol to his home in Deira.
'They found him bleeding badly. His housemaid had chopped off his private parts using a knife. She claimed the man used to abuse and harass her. On the day of the incident she claims he asked her to give him a massage. She got angry, went to the kitchen to get a knife and attacked him.' They told the news provider that the police always warn bosses that bad treatment of maids can backfire. The housemaid is currently in police custody and has been charged with assault, while the man is recovering in hospital as surgeons assess whether his penis can be reattached' - Metro
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
'A housemaid in Dubai has chopped off her frisky boss's private parts after allegedly being pestered for a massage. The Ethiopian woman, who is in her 20s, claims that she was harassed and abused by her boss, a 70-year-old Emirati man, and finally lashed out with a knife, chopping off his penis, reports 7 Days. An official from Dubai Police commented on the attack, which took place on Monday, saying: 'Our command room received a call from the man who was yelling in pain. We sent a police patrol to his home in Deira.
'They found him bleeding badly. His housemaid had chopped off his private parts using a knife. She claimed the man used to abuse and harass her. On the day of the incident she claims he asked her to give him a massage. She got angry, went to the kitchen to get a knife and attacked him.' They told the news provider that the police always warn bosses that bad treatment of maids can backfire. The housemaid is currently in police custody and has been charged with assault, while the man is recovering in hospital as surgeons assess whether his penis can be reattached' - Metro
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
Heh, Sec in the cock museum.
Talk about a kid in a candy story
Is there a souvenir shop attached?Heh, Sec in the cock museum.
Talk about a kid in a candy story
If you kill enough of them they stop fighting - Gen. Curtis Lemay
Fear the KKM
I think so. Hundreds of eve nerds waving huge whale dicks all around town would be funny.
'A bearded pervert donned a mask and wig to spy on women using the ladies toilets at Birmingham's showpiece Bullring mall. Student Joel Hardman was rumbled after a shopper reported seeing someone "dressed like a mannequin" walk into the lavatories. He later emerged from a locked cubicle and admitted performing a sex act.
'Jonathan Purser, prosecuting, said Hardman, believed to be an MSc student at the University of Birmingham, told a Bullring security guard: "Yes, I've been a bit weird."' - Birmingham Mail
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The quotation is absolute brilliance'Snow White's seven dwarfs have been downsized after a theatre axed short adult actors from its panto to replace them with cut-price children. Explaining the decision, the show's executive producer Jonathan Kiley said yesterday: 'Money isn't limitless and dwarfs are very, very expensive'....Peter Burroughs, director of Willow Management, an agency that supplies dwarf actors, said 'It's not fair at all. It will lose its magic. It's tradition to have dwarfs in this role. The clue is in the name. I had one guy on our books who was due to perform there and he is absolutely devastated. I suppose it's a sign of the times but I still don't think it's on" - Metro
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Fat Eve Players Rejoice
Now only if 99% of you could get a woman this theory would actually be tested.'Fat men are better in bed, women find a long ring finger strangely attractive and a prominent chin means you could be a love rat...Forget about six-packs, because fatter men have greater sexual stamina. In a year-long study, researchers at Erciyes University in Kayseri, Turkey, found fatter men made love for an average of 7.3 minutes, while slender men held on for just 108 seconds. Heavy men had higher levels of female sex hormones, slowing their progress towards orgasm' - The Daily Mirror
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/...reaking51.html
Be careful what you wish for.
picture and capture from the article's website.. Someone had some fun at ESPNSoccernet'There was a painful conclusion to an end-of-season party when a Welsh Non-League footballer suffered severe injuries after a pool cue was rammed up his backside. An as yet unnamed 37-year-old midfielder for Tenby AFC, who play in the Pembrokeshire 1st Division, is still in hospital five days after the incident. A source, believed to be a team-mate, told the Mirror: "It was a bit of horseplay that went seriously wrong. We'd all had a few drinks when one of the lads did a moonie. A player picked up a pool cue and it all went wrong from there." Another Tenby team-mate, 29, was arrested, but later released without charge by police' - ESPNSoccernet
A cue in action, yesterday.
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
I don't know whether to be impressed or horrified. Thirsty, where the hell do you get these things?
Caeleste naves interretis gravissimas sunt
I don't think I will be using any of the work out benches or the exercise bikes at that gym.'A Spanish gym has plummeted to new depths in a bid to attract customers and is now offering users the opportunity to exercise in the nude. The move by the Basque-based Easy Gym has been prompted by a noticeable decline in membership, which the owners believe is the result of the nation's recession. Whether the initiative will pay off remains to be seen, as sweaty body marks on machines often prove the bane of gym users' lives, even with the presence of clothes. Speaking to the BBC, gym owner Merche Laseca was keen to stress that the idea had been motivated by a finances, rather than any strongly-held belief that people should be allowed to work out in the buff. Mr Laseca said: 'I'm not a nudist myself, though I have no problem with it. But this initiative is about the money.' The idea emerged after gym owners found out two local swimming pools were offering monthly nude bathing sessions, which had proved popular' - Metro
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
Get Your Greek On.
'Pet owners should stop calling their animals "pets" because it's insulting, leading academics claim. Domestic dogs, cats, and other creatures should instead be called "companion animals" while owners should be known as "human carers", they say. The call comes from the Journal of Animal Ethics, a new academic publication, edited by the Rev Professor Andrew Linzey, director of the Oxford Centre for Animal Ethics. In its first editorial, the journal also condemns the use of terms such as "critters" and "beasts", and even "wildlife" because it suggests "uncivilised". It argues that "derogatory" language about animals can affect the way that they are treated.
"Despite its prevalence, 'pets' is surely a derogatory term both of the animals concerned and their human carers," the editorial claims. "Again the word 'owners', whilst technically correct in law, harks back to a previous age when animals were regarded as just that: property, machines or things to use without moral constraint." It goes on: "We invite authors to use the words 'free-living', 'free-ranging' or 'free-roaming' rather than 'wild animals'. For most, 'wildness' is synonymous with uncivilised, unrestrained, barbarous existence. There is an obvious prejudgment here that should be avoided." Prof Linzey also hopes to see phrases such as "sly as a fox", "eat like a pig" or "drunk as a skunk" stamped out' - Orange
I'm not what you call a "good" poster
someone needs to feed that woman to a free-ranging bear.
You call women "andrew" in your country?
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