The Socratic Files

[Internet Spaceships]

Background:

When I first arrived at Arnon, it was because someone in C&P was claiming that there was someone funny there who was busy entertaining the locals by being so, very, bad.

It had been a while since I had seen someone thoroughly stink up local...so I paid a visit.

With this, begins...the Socratic Files.

Let me first introduce you to the biggest Killboard Padding statistic that I've personally run into:

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboar...&name=Socratic

At the time of this writing...3 billion in kills...25 billion in losses.?

The Socratic Files will not be in the traditional investigation format, because dear reader, I've actually been paid to give the man a hard time. But since he is not in a player corporation, traditional invesigation won't work.

And to be frank, there is *so* much material available in chats, that it would consume many, many, many pages. So I've distilled it down as much as I can. Apologies to those who love the full chat logs on things, but it is simply not possible.

Upon entering Arnon, one of the first things I see:

?Socratic > I'm busy fitting the next of my 40 gilas
?Socratic > how does it feel to have absolutely no affect

And he is going to need those Gilas...At the rate he loses them. (Along with all sorts of other shiny faction and navy ships)

Here we have a Methusela pilot. In game six years. (Not constantly training apparently.) Yet, he doesn't quite have base game mechanics down:

Socratic > 30 seconds is deagro time dock interval
?Socratic > simple math
?Socratic > rocket launcher running out of ammot does not deaggro

?Socratic > jump clone is designed for travel over long distance
?Socratic > but you need to have good sec status and lots of restrictions

?John Arcturas > i see you socratic
?John Arcturas > what do i get for killing a wanted man?
?Socratic > nothing here
?Socratic > you can't kill a pod in hi sec

And those are just a few of the gems this guy has been spewing over local channels.

Then there is the horrible, horrible smack:

?Socratic > I am going to pick up a billion isk
?Socratic > be back soon
?Socratic > did you copy that all you arnon loser griefer blobber punks? I say a billion!
?Socratic > you bunch of griefing losers

?Knight Commander Arbosa > HAHAHA Zedrik killed Socratic 3 times over the past few days.
?Zedrik Cayne > Um..twice.
?Knight Commander Arbosa > oh wait i guess twice. Kate Mosh did the final blow to teh Gila
?Socratic > Knight Commander Arbosa so you live vicariously through others because you will never be able to afford a ship that can do it yourself?
?Socratic > is that it, loser?
?Knight Commander Arbosa > Hahaha
?Socratic > field a ship and lose it
?Socratic > and then lose two worth 500 mil in a few hours
?Socratic > and go buy new ones
?Socratic > if you can't then shut up

Socratic > the only intelligent conversations here are when I speak alone, Andrich

?Socratic > why don't you just shoot at this pod, you freakin' loser and let concord tak your mach and then leave this system forever?
?Socratic > you know you suck
?Socratic > everyone knows you suck
?Socratic > get the heall out of my system
?Misha Konstantine > butthurt
?Zedrik Cayne > Sounds like it.

?Socratic > DiaLatho you are useless and I intend to make your life hell
?Socratic > leave the system while you can

Oh, and the impotent threats:

(At this point, Socratic has moved from Arnon to Amod..Another SOE station system)
Socratic > Zedrik Cayne there's nothing you can do to me here, asshole
?Zedrik Cayne > Ah..ye have little faith.
?Socratic > it's ye "of" little faigh
?Socratic > faith
?Socratic > but ther you were always stupid
?Socratic > then
?Zedrik Cayne > Don't try telling me what I am misquoting.
?Socratic > I don't try I do
?Socratic > you are illiterate and stupid
?Socratic > it's obvious
?Socratic > your time here is wasted
?Zedrik Cayne > I'm being well paid to be here.
?Socratic > and I have 10 contracts out on you
?Socratic > I pay better
?Socratic > but you are too stupid to realize it
?Zedrik Cayne > I am easy to find.
?Socratic > and easy to kill
?Socratic > this is the place where your noobness will shine
?Socratic > idiot

Not a day later: http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboar...hp?id=13306317 and http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboar...hp?id=13306347

Running missions in lowsec. And getting probed out. Too bad he doesn't follow his own advice:

?Socratic > and learn how to scan for scanner probes
?Socratic > you have a scanner
?Socratic > if you set it right you can see probes looking for you and run

So welcome to the Socratic files...I'm going to be running through all my various chat logs to entertain you with the best of Socratic.

And while you're at it, come and visit Arnon. He's back to hanging out there.

Conclusion:



All credit goes to Zedrik for pulling this off, here's a link to his blog.

Link to the EVE-O thread.

[Don Peyote]

Shame battleclinic is laggy as shit

EDIT : So just finished the video and all I can say is : Bravo.

[Murr]

If you know this zedrik guy please tell him to use eve-kill for god's sake.

[Mr Coloredshirt]

Sverige Pahis

Caldari
Thunderwaffe
Goonswarm Federation

Good read as always but don't you feel a little guilty in a picking-on-the-******-at-school way?

feel a little guilty

Goonswarm Federation

[Checkbox Poll]

thunderwaffe is DS1 reincarnated, pubbies4lyfe

[the blender]

There are no goons.

[Mynt]

He almost got kondorkondonkonked straight into PL. He just needed another 0.8 and he'd been as pro as them v0v

[Sami]

NOt even that much, surely? Dude went straight to -9.8 or something, then claimed he'd be back in highsec in 24 hours.

I gather he's been ratting furiously, but somehow didn't make that deadline. Not helped by a bunch of people subsequently hunting the shit out of him in lowsec.

[Fix Lag]

Carebearing while retarded: Because some people exist to get fucked.

[Phineas Freak]

lol is there anyone in eve that did not kill socratic sometime?

[luvcuminbum]

Wouldn't be surpised if socratic is another one of Zedrik's sock puppets.

[Iratus]

I've never killed him... I salvaged one of his wrecks once and the smack was so tasty I literally had a boner. Logs are sadly in my now fried old laptop

[Cadaver Synod]

In 06 I was in a corp with Socratic, and dude was weird back then. If I remember it rightly he is like in his 50's or maybe 60's and was trying to get very friendly with a Russian girl that lived in our system that was very much not in his age bracket. According to him he is also legally blind, so he was just perfectly happy running those SOE courier missions out of Amod over and over again. He never did deal to well with young whippersnappers interfering with his gameplay.