I got this creepy fucking letter from a friend of mine.
I got it on Halloween, and couldn't really think of an appropriate response to it. So what I decided to do was make an xtranormal video out of it. I'm not sure if it is funny or lame, so I'll let you be the judge of that.
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7802905
Fake Edit: I plan on sending it to this guy so I'd like tips on how to make it better.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
That is comedy gold my friend
If we have learned anything from Woody Allen.
True love conquers all.
So if its meant to be, its meant to be.
PS. thats one sick fuck your dealing with
tl so i only listened to the first 3 minutes or so, but thats some fucked up creepy shit.. i'd try to keep away from that person.. they sound like they could hurt either themselves or you.. i'd suggest they seek help from a professional...
Yeah, this guy insists he's not gay and that bisexuality doesn't exist so I'm trying to find a list of psychiatrists in the area who have expertise in dealing with this sort of situation.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
Careful
It sounds like a classic case of erotomania .
The problem with someone like this is that no matter what you say, they reinterpret it as a positive signal.
I knew someone like this and they got to the point where they carried a knife and threatened to hurt themselves if that person didn't act like they loved them.
Stay away. If you try to get them help they will will think they are at the beginning of a crisis that will bring you together.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
The problem with the erotomania diagnosis is that this guy doesn't think I'm in love with him - he thinks I actively scorn him. Which I do.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
Oh boy, He really needs qualified assistence.
I have no ideea how I would react in the face of something that extreme.
We all meet people with serious issues in life, but I think the best would be to just drop any kind of contact with that person... Worked for me. Anything you do will be interpreted i the direction he wants it.
Was this Alex?
Fake Edit: Crazy sex best sex.
The idea that I have "free will" is the only irrational belief that I allow myself.
If I am wrong, I had no choice in the matter.
Originally Posted by Yorda
I heartly recommend "Wetlands" by Charlote Roche.
Hmm.
WTF...
Charlotte Roche is awesome, true story. She's got some loose screws, but that's her charm.
It's actually a bit sad she's born in the UK and didn't come to Germany before she was 8, so we can't claim responsability/credit.
The facts have a strong anti-A- bias.
The fire crackling in the background and the weird elevator music give it a very strange atmosphere. >_> One might even say creepy.
The Colorblind Angel of Kugutsumen - Turning Bad Country into Mad Country one post a time
Some parts are tough indeed. But it makes for an interesting listening on the motorway, friday evening in a jam.
True that.
And yes, " Crazy sex best sex. " ;P
Borderline Personality Disorder.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
Borderline. Lets hope he stays there.
So yeah, what became of this?
Tell us a story Vinata
The story is that I am freaked out, and he has begun confronting me in public (where we're with large groups of mutual friends) about this, hoping that will provoke a response.
I've gotten a lot of advice, which ranges from being aggressive to tell him to back off, ignoring him, helping him, not doing anything, deflecting/redirecting the conversation, and reporting him to the campus' Crisis Center.
I got the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder from a psychologist (as in profession, not major) and advice from her. She basically said to call the Crisis Center or things might get V. Tech, and to ignore him if he didn't bring it up again.
I relayed this diagnosis to some friends who run the school's GBLT student organization, and they say it makes sense. My "friend" (I'm avoiding him at all costs and he disgusts me, so I don't know what to refer to him as) has made comments such as "I'm neither male nor female, but equal parts each." and "There is a gender binary" which contradict. One of the GBLT friends said that a lot of people with BPD at one point believe themselves to be transsexuals, and it is a phase caused by their ability to recognize something is wrong with how they identify themselves but an inability to correctly deduce what is wrong. (These guys also said I should reach out a helping hand, but the psychologist said this would be a bad idea because the "friend" would interpret it as an attempt for us to begin working on "our" problem)
My psychiatrist accepted the BLD diagnosis as most likely being correct (you can't diagnose people you haven't actually met) and elaborated on the problem. People with BLD often latch onto a relationship (real or perceived) extremely strongly, and then quickly attach themselves to a different relationship almost immediately after the first is over. They also have a very strong inability to distinguish a "self" or an "other" from the person they have attached themselves to. To this guy, there is no longer a Him and an I, there is just a We. As I am not giving him the response he wants, he has begun provoking me in order to get any response, as that would show we're still connected.
I've been given a basic set of instructions and talking points to deflect the conversation from attempts at provoking me or making me feel uncomfortable, while also reestablishing the notion in his mind that him and I are separate people. I'll probably have to utilize those instructions tonight, which means shit might either begin to decline or completely hit the fan tonight.
Aside from that, this has been having a pretty negative effect on my life. Most of my friends are mutual friends with this dude, and while they find the letter creepy, they don't really understand how I feel when I'm forced to socially interact with him just so I can socially interact with my friends. I've had to stop going to parties so that I can avoid him, as I don't want to deal with this dude drunk (and he abuses alcohol greatly at parties and no one stops him because "he's just having fun") or any of the problems that'd cause.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
Crap. I've been to similar territory though nowhere near as bad, on both sides of the fence if I'm honest. Boarding school is a pretty wierd environment.
I wouldn't listen to the GBLT about these things, advice tends to be colored by personal experience and the (okay, not necessarily wrong) assumption that the guy might actually be genuine and they do not necessarily give advice that is objectively the best outcome for YOU. Think about number 1. Then again i don't know your friends at the GBLT so generalizations ho!
Photocopy the letter, lodge it with a third party where your new BFF cant or wont think to get at it.
In your position I'd probably just confront the guy, but that could go horribly wrong- and not in a V tech way either, but in alienating friends. If you make it public you avoid one set of problems, but open up another with mutual friends taking sides and if as you say they dont understand your situation that could end up with you as the bogeyman. If you confront him privately do it in a public place with CCTV, but dont be obvious about it or you wont get a natural response and things will drag on again.
Unfortunately you need to make some kind of decision here, you cant keep avoiding him as its warping the rest of your life from the sound of things. Consider this the nudge to get some kind of resolution before it affects you any further.
Had enough of people giving you advice yet?
Eh, i get preachy sometimes, disregard
Hey vinata,
I feel for you man. Both me and a friend of mine, though we're both gay, have been subjected to these (bisexual/what the fuck ever) stalkers and let me tell you being gay/straight does not lessen or increase the awkwardness. Now it may sound weird, and to be honest I doubt these people have BLD as it's probably rare (I'm not a psychologist) but it was very freaky and we both started A) avoiding parties or B) sticking together as these people followed us around. My friend, too, got a very creepy loveletter (and it did not help that some fag hags corrupted the poor kid who wrote it so he acted like he was in a fanfic all the time) and was followed constantly. To this day we've both pretended to have relationships to avoid these people, with limited success.
My sympathies
The Colorblind Angel of Kugutsumen - Turning Bad Country into Mad Country one post a time
He tried to physically corner me at a party; I'm getting the university involved in this.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
Nothing says more "I love you!" then a restraining order.
Just carry one of those extendable police batons on you at all times- a gun would probably be more typical for texas but this way there's less chance of a bullet hitting something else. Also you get to feel that satisfying 'crunch' as you hit their skull.
Caeleste naves interretis gravissimas sunt
I would alert him that if he doesn't leave you alone that you will be involving the university to resolve his harassment.
Creepy, but he also sounds unstable.
Little by little, one goes a long way
Formerly the artist known as Serj, Ykatni, Acobar, Intravenous deMilo and about fifty other mains/alts the last few years.
No more character sales when I ragequit, seriously....
I got this creepy follow-up letter from an ex-friend of mine.
I wrote this a few weeks after I sent you my three-page letter- I hope it can clear a few things up. I had meant send it to you sooner, but I convinced myself that it would have been better for you just to have some more space- but I don't see what further harm it would be to send this to you now.
Let me explain:
If there was ever a time that I believed that I loved you –in flesh and blood— I was mistaken. I never loved you- the corporeal You, yet I loved either the person I hoped was beneath the mask or the person you could become. I fell in love with a figment of my imagination that you were never a part of and it was to our mutual misfortune that I did not perceive this.
All the suffering that I withstood was because I failed to realize that you were never “there” for me to love. I did it to myself- and I am sorry that I had to drag you into this and ended it the way I did with my letter. But in the two weeks hence, I have had some time to think things over and I have concluded that I have not been fair to you.
Firstly: it is unlikely that you knew the extent of my feelings and this is certainly my fault, I intentionally made them seem less significant than they were in vain hopes of not scaring you away. In this way I could still be friends with you and still love “you” at the same time- this did not work. I should have been more forthright and risked dejection- it would have been better than this.
Secondly: I was angered that you did not perceive my emotions and interpreted this as a silent rejection. There was nothing there from the beginning and it was for this reason that I scorned you in writing. I have accused you of silence, I have accused you of coldness and neglect and all it has been unjust and ungrounded.
Finally: I have mistaken the (for the lack of a better term) real you for the “you” that existed only in my mind and whom I have fallen in love with. “You” were a puppet for my affections and nothing else. There was nothing between us- there was only me and my misplaced feelings from the beginning.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
The letter says one thing but reads with undertones that the author still thinks another.
That sounds like he got some help from a professional.
Maybe campus got involved and suggested he talk to someone :shrug:
It at least indicates that whatever the individuals current feelings that they realize they aren't reciprocated and aim to stop hounding over the matter.
Downsides: Could swing into resentment, individual wrote this in hope that bearing his soul would win over, damage already done and circle of friends warped/alienated and the event will linger like bad eggs in any social occasion they meet.
It may be shorter, but it is still all over the place.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
I didn't say it would cure him, but he certainly seems like he's starting to take something on board. For one he's realised that he had created an image of you in his own head that wasn't you, just from his first letter, i doubt he would of realised that on his own.
2 weeks is a long time to think about something when you are obsessing over it, there are only so many possibility's and fantasy's you can explore before you start contemplating the bad ones as well. From there, people can join the dots with reality sometimes and come to a conclusion on their own.
These letters actually make me feel kind of weird - questioning the relationships I have with people and how reciprocal they are. =/
The Colorblind Angel of Kugutsumen - Turning Bad Country into Mad Country one post a time
He seems to have been given a stern talk to. I think he got the point.
As Ransom pointed out , he prop realized he was making him self a outkast.
Still , he wants you bad.
Hang on... Vinata is a boy? girl? what sexual preference? And its a dude who wrote the letter, correct?
Rico, I'm sorry to break it to you but...some Men love other Men.
Some women love other women.
Some men that were women love other men or women that were men.
Its not right or wrong its just plumbing <3
I dont understand. This is all happening after marriage, right?
It seems he actually showed the letter to everyone he knew before he sent it, and quite a few of them told him it was a horrible idea. I think he began being ostracized after that.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
Dude, all I'm saying is crazy sex is the best sex.
Hop on that shit and then kill him and claim self defense.
It's texas no one will care.
The idea that I have "free will" is the only irrational belief that I allow myself.
If I am wrong, I had no choice in the matter.
Just say he's a socialist muslim or some shit.
Caeleste naves interretis gravissimas sunt
He's Mexican, which is close enough.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
So, Vinata, had it been a girl that had sent you this, would you have been just as creeped out, out of curiosity?
'Dont stick your dick in crazy'
Heh.
Its almost like: Male teacher sleeps with hot female student, get fired, public outcry. Female teacher sleeps with male student, might get fired if it gets enough media attention, every guy that hears about the story thinking 'go on my son' in the privacy of their own head, or thinking they could have done with some of that at 16 and remembering that hot maths teacher that used to spill out of lowcut tops they fantasized about.
EDIT: OK so its not like that at all, stream of consciousness went wonky.
But srs, that letter is creepy beyond the mild homophobia/revulsion someone straight might feel when being fixated on by another guy.
If a chick sent me a letter like that, I'd probably run like hell and buy a tazer for good measure. Also, there have been plenty of massive public outcries regarding female teachers sleeping with male students, probably more than have ensued from the reverse. I think part of that stems from parents being over-protective of their children, and them seeing a female teacher sleeping with a male student as borderline rape/coercion. Certainly they'd see the reverse as that, but 'old man with young woman' is something that is (and always has been) extremely prevelant in society, while the reverse has not been.
Caeleste naves interretis gravissimas sunt
Had it been any other person I hang out with on a regular basis, I'd have been just as creeped out. I'm bisexual, so the gender doesn't really matter to me.
But regardless of all that, he became creepier again.
He has this notebook he carries around with him all the time. I've seen it before - he puts random newspaper ads he finds funny in it, or writes stupid shit he thinks is clever into it. Every now and then he makes a fake map about a fake place, because he loves maps. Well it seems he recently has a new addition - sketches of me. He seems particularly fond of my eye area, and has at least one page of just sketches of my eyes and eyebrows.
I know this because he took out his sketchbook in a crowded area we were both in, and began painting. Other people saw what was in it. At one point he leaned over and said to someone "I'm going to sketch a picture of [Vinata]." and the other person looked at him like he was pushing the crazy limit and said "That's probably not a very good idea."
So at this point he has made it rather public that he sketches me. But, just in case I didn't overhear him suggest he sketch me, he then went to great lengths to advertise the fact he was painting a picture of me into his notebook.
Have you ever seen that thing artists do where they hold their brushes up and use it as a measuring tool, so they can keep things in scale? Yeah, he was doing that, and it was pointing right at me, from like twenty feet away. He was sitting sideways on a chair, his notebook resting on his bulbous stomach like a clam on an otter's belly. He looked to his right, at a nearly perfect right angle, and kept using his brush to accurately measure me. There was no fucking way for me to not notice this creepy asshole measuring me from a distance, and staring deeply at me, as if I were the singular oasis in his otherwise barren visual Sahara.
Oh and if that's not creepy enough for you, his paint was a self-made concoction of mostly green food coloring, which he would keep licking off his fat fingers when it began to spill.
?"eve's a bad mmo, really bad, it's only saving grace is the people playing it, which i guess doesn't say great things about the people playing other MMOs"
I'd definitely involve the school in this one. Sooner or later shit will hit the fan.
The letter he sent definitely shows he had help, but the sketches incident suggest a bipolarity in his behaviour. As it is with bipolarity, there is a real chance he is going to diverge more and his behaviour extremer during the phases. I think it will hit the fan, and it would be good to have involved the school and any other authorities you deem right in order to be better prepared for the aftermath.
I do not think he will get phisical, but he might go ahead and do some crazy shit like tape posters with his letters on the school walls or something like that.
Another way it is good if you get the school involved is that that guy desperately needs help. The school might shake him in accepting or committing to a program where he might get some of the help he needs. (I have no idea how well that works in Texas, it works pretty well in here...)
Without professional help his behaviour won't cool down and all you can hope is that he will change focus on somebody else. He is a menace for himself too.
Yea, time for professional help. That guy is a tad scary.
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks