Elitistops [ISRAD] : A Corporation of Elite Individuals of Space

**Opti** · 2012-04-23

shit, if I wanted to join PL id ask my bestest friend penifsmash who takes all the ex goonies

and if he says no, now i know what needs done

**T'Renn** · 2012-04-23

lol could have gone without it going out on kugu but w/e not like it matters at this point. she thinks this is all fucking hilarious and still says you are all nerds though.

**Grogoth** · 2012-04-23

That was pretty rad

**Fartman** · 2012-04-23

she thinks this is all fucking hilarious and still says you are all nerds though

and she married one

**T'Renn** · 2012-04-23

indeed she did.

**Opti** · 2012-04-23

Dear Mr G. Drem,

If one wants to join PL but one only has a boyfriend, may we good sir haggle over the specifics?

Regards, Opti.

**Kanloch** · 2012-04-23

His dick in your butt, specified corp ticker on your cheeks.

**Grogoth** · 2012-04-23

I will need you to recreate, in full, jarsquatter

**Opti** · 2012-04-23

Hello Mr Drem,

I don't know of said reference, I see your jarsquatter but counter with Mr Hands.

Regards, Opti.

**penifSMASH** · 2012-04-23

Originally Posted by Opti

shit, if I wanted to join PL id ask my bestest friend penifsmash who takes all the ex goonies

and if he says no, now i know what needs done

fill out an app, Opti

you know you want to join

**xutech** · 2012-04-23

Very tastefully done.

**jimmychrist** · 2012-04-23

I'm sure this is what CCP's marketing department had in mind when they decided to go with the slogan 'Eve is real'

**Opti** · 2012-04-23

Originally Posted by penifSMASH

fill out an app, Opti

you know you want to join

Dear Mr Smash,

I have heard about your fine band of sirs and that you as glorious leader are fair with dat technetium and don't hoard it for yourself, had I not just recently commited to my new corp I would certainly very much like to sail with you.

Just unfortunate timing

Regards, Opti.

**Kel'taith** · 2012-04-23

Females only have to sleep with Penif to get in, FYI.

**Scotch** · 2012-04-23

What a trooper.

(I meant the wife)

**anzoxe** · 2012-04-23

i can't believe he fucking did it, holy shit my sides are moving on their own.

**zodt** · 2012-04-23

im a virgin and i'm not getting a girlfriend anytime soon

what are my chances

**penifSMASH** · 2012-04-23

Originally Posted by zodt

im a virgin and i'm not getting a girlfriend anytime soon

what are my chances

m8 thats the first step to getting director roles

**Opti** · 2012-04-23

Hello,

I hereby throw my hat into the ring

NSFW

http://i.imgur.com/gkXUS.jpg

**Viribus** · 2012-04-24

#26: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0ek3DsMHBCI

I feel a kinship with EO that I just can't explain

EDIT:

**Don Peyote** · 2012-04-24

Originally Posted by Kanloch

He actually did it.

[spoiler='NSFW']http://imgur.com/a/gIrPj#0[/spoiler]

Removed. But I'll take your word.

T'Renn, your wife is a very understanding person, and you are baller as fuck. Maddest of props to you

You should probably go ahead and close recruitment now, no-one else's app can top this

**T'Renn** · 2012-04-24

welcome to Pandemic Legion! Here's your kugtsumen repbomb welcome gift basket from Centra "Welcome Wagon" Spike.

**Stronke** · 2012-04-24

T'Renn help me out, are you really this terrible or have you cleverly trolled me into believing so?

If so, well played. If not, mind GTFO? Cheers.

**Kanloch** · 2012-04-24

I can't believe you removed the pictures.

**T'Renn** · 2012-04-24

I didn't remove the pictures I moved them to another host.

stronke: I am every bit as terrible as advertised.

**Mr Coloredshirt** · 2012-04-24

Originally Posted by T'Renn

I didn't remove the pictures I moved them to another host.

stronke: I am every bit as terrible as advertised.

i moved them back to imgur for you hi5
http://imgur.com/a/F5Zi6

**T'Renn** · 2012-04-24

fine by me chickadee. I just didn't want to get ipbanned from imgur or something for posting ze smut.

**Kanloch** · 2012-04-24

Imgur doesn't care, there's already tons of porn on it.

**jeffraider** · 2012-04-25

look if you're gonna jerk off do it at home with a moist towel

**Yue** · 2012-04-25

Who knew it was so easy to get into PL these days?

**Grogoth** · 2012-04-25

Chill legion m8

**Grath** · 2012-04-25

Originally Posted by Yue

Who knew it was so easy to get into PL these days?

Really?

Have you even LOOKED at the NESW corp roster lately?

Seriously though, after 9 years with only a moderate player increase we're just recycling the same faggots over and over in different groups, even PL

**Yue** · 2012-04-25

It was less actual commentary on the ease of getting into PL and bigger game-related issues and more of a joke about how easy it is to beat off on an avatar of some Kugu poster pasted to your woman's ass.

Edit: It's like getting paid to breathe.

**Grogoth** · 2012-04-25

Yeah, that woman has serious father issues. I would very much like to sodomize her.

**Kanloch** · 2012-04-25

I'm sure if you tell T'renn he'll get kicked if his missus doesn't comply it will eventually happen.

**zero** · 2012-04-26

#26 has a paragraph with veiled, shocking homosexual undertones. The thought of men treating other men they way men treat women makes me squeamish but giddy. As an alternative, I chose to read a poem written by my polish friend who I encouraged to find someone who will make him happy.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Uo4AezRHfK

**T'Renn** · 2012-04-26

Originally Posted by Yue

It was less actual commentary on the ease of getting into PL and bigger game-related issues and more of a joke about how easy it is to beat off on an avatar of some Kugu poster pasted to your woman's ass.

Edit: It's like getting paid to breathe.

dude seriously that was not as easy as you make it out to be. I'll let you guess the tricky part.

**Kanloch** · 2012-04-26

Originally Posted by T'Renn

dude seriously that was not as easy as you make it out to be. I'll let you guess the tricky part.

Convincing the poor woman to marry you?

**Mr Coloredshirt** · 2012-04-26

finding a good place to buy chloroform and shackles

**T'Renn** · 2012-04-26

Originally Posted by Kanloch

Convincing the poor woman to marry you?

No that was easy because I promised to raise the african baby she was impregnated with at the time.

**Malaclypse** · 2012-04-28

The things people do to join a spacepixel guild.

**Grogoth** · 2012-04-28

Not just ?a spacepixel guild, good friend

**Opti** · 2012-04-28

Originally Posted by Grogoth

Not just ?a spacepixel guild, good friend

Dear Groggypoos,

It seems to me that you have been nothing but nice in this penifsmash thread, I was under the impression that the corps in PL fucking hate each other, am I to understand thats not true its just NESW that people hate?

Regards, Opti

**Grogoth** · 2012-04-28

Friend Opti,

penifSMASH is my CEO.

I was deposed from my post in glorious Sniggerdly, and graduated to ISRAD.

There is no god but penifSMASH.

Sincerely,

Grogoth Drem

**pinoyzzz** · 2012-04-29

Originally Posted by Grath

Seriously though, after 9 years with only a moderate player increase we're just recycling the same faggots over and over in different groups, even PL

decrease~

The days of 60000+ online are never coming back, so, inevitably, things become more and more incestuous.

**Diotima Saraki** · 2012-04-29

Originally Posted by Viribus

19. You are in a LR zealot in a PL sniper HAC fleet‚ engaged with a rather large fleet of enemy Drakes and your overview suddenly goes all yellow boxy. What do you do?

I would wonder what I'm doing in a sniper HAC fleet in the year of our lord MMXII

I think the question is funny given the usual answers (and the total lack of objections to these answers). Here are some recent ones:

Listen to the fc and if u start to see redbox broadcast for reps.

Broadcast for reps. Align out if I’ve got lots of heat on my ass. 0wn everything

Keep watching for yellow boxes‚ if many y?llow box, then broadcast for reps. (DIsclaimer - I am not ver? experienced in hac gangs)

Broadcast for reps, get transversal up, follow fc’s primaries, and if you start to go down, prepare to get your pod out

Broadcast for reps once and listen to the fc. Hope for the best but if I lose a zealot I lose a zealot. Men are judged by lossmails‚ not by how many ships th?? save by warping ?ut l?k? bitchfags.

And here is how PL sniper Zealots actually looked like when they were used (that is 2007/2008):

Code:

[Zealot, PL Sniper]
Medium Armor Repairer II
Energized Thermic Membrane II
Heat Sink II
Heat Sink II
Heat Sink II
Tracking Enhancer II
Nanofiber Internal Structure II

Experimental 10MN MicroWarpdrive I
Sensor Booster II, Targeting Range Script
Sensor Booster II, Scan Resolution Script

Heavy Beam Laser II, Aurora M
Heavy Beam Laser II, Aurora M
Heavy Beam Laser II, Aurora M
Heavy Beam Laser II, Aurora M
[empty high slot]

(non-PL fittings from the same era use no tank at all or a single shield extender)

I'm a scrub and might have overlooked something important but here are is what I would expect in an answer:

Buffer-tanking a sniper Zealot in a way that would make RR (against a "large" fleet) feasible is impossible, no broadcasting for reps.
Why am I closer than 75km (Drake targeting range) to the Drakes? Zealots have ~100km range.
Flight-time of Heavy Missiles means you can wait until red-boxed before warping out.

**Don Peyote** · 2012-04-29

The correct answer is "Cry like a manbaby in TS and hope that Grogoth calls me a faggot so I can get that warm fuzzy feel of talking to someone e-famous for a few seconds before the crushing shame of how much of a raging sperglord I am sets in".

Also penif I never knew you were in Team Roomba mad props