Everyone was having a nice time then it all went to shit.
With the announcement that Lord Montolio had told TEST to get their shit out of CFC space, perpetually pertinent and promptly punctual pontificates of pestilence, the always prestigiously present and sometimes pointedly perplexing xXPIZZAXx set out to interdict and hinder any evacuation efforts put forward by TEST in their sudden flurry of urgency. We hastily jumped into bombers and recons and made our way to the J5A gate in EI-O0O and quickly went about getting to within comfortable optimals to make sure we snagged anything on its way through. Commander Bekstorm took one for the team and set himself in J5A on the EI- gate in a bomber and with eternal patience, we waited.
Time ticked by and Heir Womyn Power could be heard in the corner, twirling a knife with one hand and plucking his banjo strings with the other. 'Dis ole boy gonna git 'imself some nyaggers.' he recanted to us with a satisfied southern brogue, and indeed, we would all be happy to snag ourselves some tricky little nyaggers as they made a hasty dash at the behest of Monty to get their shit in gear and head for home. Not long were we waiting when the first of the idiocracy jumped blindly into EI-. A Maelstrom. Oh what joy, what joy to RIP AND TEAR as it flailed helpless, it's big dumb artillery unable to scratch even me - Who was sitting almost perfectly still in a Rapier with my Microwarp drive turned on.
As the first Maelstrom met it's maker, another one jumped in and quickly met its end. We picked tritanium from our teeth and set about washing down the meal with a hefty gulp of moonshine before Bekstorm's eagle eye's caught wind of a Fatal Ascension fleet of t2 frigates and assorted whatnots burning into J5A from B-D, we didn't really know what they were here for considering that as far as we knew they hadn't reset TEST just yet. We burned off the gate and cloaked, and told the handful of cloaky Vagabonds we'd brought with us to warp off to safes so we could scout the situation out. William Walker appeared in local and the smack-talk commenced. We didn't even know who the fuck he was smacking, he was literally smacking against the wind while we danced around them, cloaked like magical fucking fairies.
The FA fleet seemed to buzz all over the system, go one jump out then come back and sit on the J5A gate. With the fleet spread all arseways Bekstorm barked up that a U.MAD fleet had just entered J5A, mostly drakes and support and with no FA scouts in system, we waited to see what would happen. A single brick-tanked U.MAD drake jumped into EI-, decloaked and sat happily as a cow munching grass, the FA fleet, sensing an easy kill, quickly jumped on top of the Drake and went to work. Piss-heel frigates of all shapes and sizes buzzed into the J5A gate and the trap was sprung - The U.MAD fleet jumped in and began punching FA in the face. We howled with laughter, snug as bugs in rugs orbiting the gate at 100+ with our cloaks turned on.
Unfortunately, given that most of the FA fleet were in fact frigates, they managed to get away - But we still slapped William Walker in local for his rookie as fuck snag with the bait drake. At was around this time that TEST arrived on the scene with a ram-shackle bombing fleet. There was about 6 or so of them, all of them in Nemesii', for the most part they blindly bombed the gate and/or thin air which we laughed at until legendary WEED WIZARD Superskinny managed to get himself face-fucked by bombs in his Ares. This was quite a way to die considering that just prior to this, he'd managed to somehow burn away from the aforementioned FA frigate fleet who'd used scan probes to get a lock on him.
With TEST having decided to stop ferrying evacuated assets through J5A for a while, we decided to go home. We bore witness to a few hilarious fights and ended the night with only 4 kills, but a good stage show and Skinny get owned for being too fucking high.