DIPLOMACY AND AUTISM: A WAR STORY
That crown looks fucking stupid
So in the last week or so you likely saw a bunch of hurfing and blurfing about various things involving the CFC, the HBC, PL, war and autism. This post will make some sort of attempt at explaining it.
As many of you may have grasped (mostly because it was literally screamed in your face), relations between the CFC and the HBC have been deteriorating for a long time. Part of this is simply due to the fact that TEST has forged its own coalition and has focused inward, but part of it is because of other things like rising tensions with other alliances in the CFC. This kind of thing is normal. What isn't normal, however, is sudden ramping hostilities straight towards a bloc-level war seemingly out of nowhere. I'll skip the bullshit because I'm lazy and don't want to write a ton of words to beat around the bush; Montolio wanted war.
There are, however, a lot of reasons for wanting war. The Mittani has posted that this is a ~long game~ with things like cozying up to PL and Raiden. as evidence of this fact, but that's simply not the case. Montolio wanted war because TEST loves war. The only time we were in anything other than a major war was probably the most bullshit time in TEST's history (I know I was there it sucked). We're a shit alliance full of disgusting autists that can't keep themselves from throwing sand at each other if they haven't been distracted by something else. The problem is that there isn't much to have war with anymore.
-A- is dead. The shitty alliance they merged into took the vaginal coward route and moved into Stain after collapsing with a wet fart, leaving our foreverwar won already. The south is full of people but no space worth taking. The N3 coalition is still going through a trial by fire by solidifying themselves further via war with SOLAR, who is also being poked at by PL, who got bored and wandered off ages ago. There's no tech in the south and it's difficult to stay financially competitive, especially when you're comparing yourselves to the CFC as a metric.
With that in mind, there was only one real target and that was the CFC. They're big, they're capable and strong as hell, their space owns, their moons own and even the rats there own. CFC space is simply mechanically superior to the rest of nullsec by virtue of Technetium moons. Not only that but a major war against the CFC would be by far the most difficult war we've ever fought, not just as the HBC but TEST as an individual alliance.
So he tried to start war with them. Not because it was the culmination of some year-long buildup (it wasn't), but because it's the one place where we can still fight as the underdog and possibly get the shit beaten out of us while still having something significant to gain (and something significant to lose). TEST has had very few cases in its history where it's had to legitimately defend itself against a superior opponent. We've had no "Great War"; our Great War was over in a month because our foreverenemy was shit and rotten.
TEST leadership has never been primarily focused on making TEST the ~best alliance ever~ and neither has Montolio. Our primary motivator has always been to produce interesting content. We wanted to move into nullsec so we did that. Then we wanted space, so we took that too. Then we wanted even more space, so guess what, we did that as well. We wanted to try out being on our own, so we built our own coalition around that space and made it successful. We waged a major war against another coalition and won.
Throughout all of these things however one common element remains, and that is the fact that the primary motivator was to create new and interesting content; the fact that TEST became stronger and stronger is a byproduct of all of our endeavours and necessary to do the cool shit we wanted to try. It was never possible without the help of our friends in Goonswarm and PL and all the other alliances that TEST has sided with to help grow its spacemight in this shit spacegame, but it's reached the point where the most simple and obvious route to one-upping our previous stumblings was to put on a ski mask, flop through the back window to The Mittani's house and try to smear our own shit all over his Technetium.
From a personal standpoint, this war would've fucking owned. I've always been somewhat of a chaotic neutral element in that I'll shoot anything that moves, talk shit to anything with ears and call anyone that tries to talk to me a fucking nerd. A war with the CFC would have been a disgusting and strange kind of bloody and exhausting and I doubt either side would've come out of it without some degree of maiming and injury. It would've been awesome from a pure content-generation perspective.
Cooler heads, however, have prevailed. We are in the midst of working out a more ~amicable~ solution that will hopefuly generate significant enough content for us that we won't be bored without the strings that come attached with a full sov war. However, while fighting for the sake of fighting is fun on its own, it's always that little bit sweeter when there's something on the line, so we'll have to see how that goes.
In the meantime, Montolio is taking a spacebreak from his spacejob to go to some stupid wine thing and fuck his new wife while she tries to get him to quit the game and stop talking to his weird friends. Fras is in charge during his absence and will be in charge of cleaning up all this shit. We are still bros with GSF, regardless of any mean words or unbro disclosure of diplomatic/PM logs (I'm looking at you Mittani you gel-scalped fuck) and a new NIP is going to be negotiated while each side tries to clean each others' spittle off their shirt collars.