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As the leader of TEST General Jabber Squad I feel like I should make a statement here. And by statement I mean mad alcohol-infused rambling, cause that's what it turned out to be.

I'm going to say :words: but I want to be clear about something: I don't give a fuck about the realities behind the various escalated situations regarding Goons and Test. I'm not privy to them, and frankly I do not care nor have a need for smug assholes who like to play backroom ~narrative~ games.

If Montolio was the black mark on Goon's perception of TEST, then TEST's perception of Goons has been eroded by the consistent contrary-posting of those most exposed to our community.

Irregardless of whether it was a conscious effort, it has been made very clear to TEST that Goon's did not agree to our diplomatic choices. Whether it was Andski shitting on Monty in General Chat daily, Endie making an AMA (which I stopped reading on like page 5 - full disclaimer), or powers and DBRB calling out our relationship with Raiden. over the days before VIP purge, WE HAVE BECOME ACUTELY AWARE OF YOUR OPINIONS - THANKS, CAN WE BE CHILL NOW?

And this isn't entirely (grr) Goon's fault either - TEST general thrives on this bullshit. W.r.t.. powers and DBRB, I think that whole conversation was provoked by us ( to pull logs).

And then when people get super-mad about each other's space-choices we do a retarded VIP purge and you guys start going full grr TEST on Kugu.

I mean what the fuck duders? This is like a case study in why people can't be friends if their tag isn't some shade of blue. I think I'm the only dude who remembers when TEST/Goons were cool bros. Has it really been that long? Are people really that mad about losing spaceships?

It's like I'm in high school again and my old friends are all like "I can't believe you hang out with so-and-so" and then start gossiping about how I slept with some fat chick or something I dunno.

In response, I shall give you my opinion on the VIPs I was exposed to:

Andski - Get fucked, you went from friend to "HURR MONTY IS THE DEVIL" in 2 seconds flat and never recovered.
FREE DBRB - seriously I would vouch you in 2 seconds for VIP access. Out of all the Goon VIPs I miss you the most <3.
Endie - sorry bro I wouldn't vouch you for a free super. I don't think it's possible for you to separate blue-status and friend-status, but at least you're consistent and use pretty words.
Powers - Indifferent, Idgaf one way or another 'bout you brotato. Sorry - no offense intended but we're not friends nor do I have any bad opinions about you. Edit: Actually you're ok. I remembered you posted on /r/eve and /r/evedreddit.


This whole "BUT WHAT MADE TEST COOL IS GONE NOW" really pisses me off too. TEST is still TEST. I still shit up general chat daily and the quality has neither increased or decreased. You just don't like the current leadership and their decisions. We have always been le reddit /r/athiesm pubbie scum only difference is now we're not blue so that autism from the newer members is spewed in your direction.

Seriously fuck everyone (TEST included) for not being able to have neutral/red friends. You're like overly sensitive pricks in a whore house who blow their load every time some random dude plinks their ship.

And to those sensitive TEST members reading this bullshit - grow a thicker skin. You may not have needed it until now, but unless MAGIC happens (or NC. is actually here for gudfights :mystery we're about to be on the losing end of a sov war for the first time.

Back when BoodaBooda was still b0rt CEO we had a meeting and everyone was all "drop sov" and Boodabooda was all "we can't do that, but I'll tell you what..."
3 months later - BEST FUCKING CEO EVER. CEO OF MY <3

The Setup

The most storied region in the game made another notch in its figurative belt today, a mere two days after a fantastic brawl for the ages (http://www.kugutsumen.com/showthread...278#post480278) Although Test did win the mid-week engagement in 1-SMEB, they did so by the skin of their teeth; the IHUB was saved, but the SBU’were not destroyed and as such it was put back into reinforced. In the lead up to the fight – which was firmly into USTZ – Test emotions were running hot. Many were satisfied with the result, some were dejected that the win was not bigger, and some were flat-out considering it a loss. A fair few were banging the invasion wardrums, while others dismissed it as an excuse for fights. Regardless, the Test pilots all had one thing in common: pride. Not only were they reshipped and ready to fight for round two, but they were chomping at the bit for the opportunity to eclipse the massive 1200-man turnout.

Understanding that Test would have a massive showing, and satisfied with the skirmishes in the previous day, PL, NCdot, and Goons all were taking a “wait and see” approach. Test announced seven fleets: Rail Rokhs, Blaster Rokhs, AHACs, Slowcats, Bombers, Instacanes, and E-War/Tackle. Tribe announced Rail Rokhs as their fleet of choice. With half of the subcap fleets being BS heavy, PL/NCdot/CFC opted for an AHAC-style of fleet, complete with bombers. The game plan was to try and separate a fleet, wait for bombers to do their thing, and charge in if things are looking favorable. Essentially the same plan as the first 1-SMEB fight, but hey if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. Not only was the strategy idenditcal, but the ship choices were as well. PL in AHACs, NCdot in Lokis, and Goons in Tengus – about all in equal numbers (give or take).

~Strategery~

Having to travel from another region to join the fight, and in Battleships no less, Tribe were once again the odd fleet out. However, while Lady Luck may have smiled on the PL intercept two days ago, today she turned the cold shoulder; as Tribe came into system and made a 20 au warp, PL bridged into system and…nothing. The Tribe fleet landed at gate, jumped through, and ran to the nearest station while PL ships struggled to materialize. The ~170 man Tribe Rokh fleet was destined to make it to the fight – though fate would prove to be a cruel mistress a bit later on.

Miffed at the miss, the PL fleet reset and tried to make another drop a few systems over. Tribe, however, were far too cautious and were content to play the waiting game. Unable to devote anymore time to the chase, PL were forced to let Tribe run free and focus on getting into 1-SMEB. The NCdot Loki fleet managed to make it into the system unharassed while Test were dealing with the logistical challenges of funneling seven fleets into one system. The Test Slowcat fleet again cyno’d into the system early as the cyno-jammer was cycled, and this time they were accompanied by some 20 Supercaps. While PL, NCdot, and CFC were content to play the 1-SMEB fight the same way, Test drastically changed up their strategy. The Slowcats, which were left paradoxically guarding the jammer for the duration of the first fight, were now released from bondage of the POS and shockingly were dispatched to kill an SBU. The Test subcapital fleets, instead of chasing NCdot to the Ihub, instead setup on another SBU – guarded by bubbles and positioned immaculately. The whole “killing SBUs” thing is a much more pragmatic and traditional approach to saving a system; Test were playing this one by the book. With three minutes to the Ihub coming out of reinforced, PL and Goons jumped into system to meet up with NCdot. As the timer ticked down, the three fleets warped to the I-hub and goaded the seven Test fleets to meet them.

Although Test had a near 3:1 numerical advantage in a jammed system with 130 Capitals (more than any single fleet had DPS ships), Test were resolved to keeping their cool. The Test fleets were covering two SBUs and were poised to win the DPS race; they simply refused to give into the PL/NC/Goon siren song at the IHUB and instead put the onus on PL/NC/Goon to come to them.


The Fight

Challenge accepted. The unlikely triumvirate warped individually over to the Test sub-capital fleets, struggled for positioning, and then simply charged in. PL and NCdot were the first to go in and positioned themselves in such a way as to sandwich the Test Rokh and AHAC fleets. Shortly after the Goon Tengus came in and, having the sturdiest kinetic tank, charmed the Test Rokh fleet into focusing on them while all the fleets began to whittle down the sizeable Test AHAC fleet. The Rokhs failed to find their groove and were forced to reposition frequently. In a bold move, the Test Slowcat fleet appeared early on in the fighting to provide a sphere of 0wn, and draw some attention from the various bomber fleets. The Rokh fleets continued to move about gingerly, attempting to avoid bombers at every turn, maneuvering further and further away from their AHAC fleet which was taking the brunt of the storm. The triad of tech threes seized the small opportunity and cleared off the AHAC DPS as fast as possible. Test took the route of attrition and focused mostly on Logistics when they could – they did, after all, have the numbers to pull that maneuver off.

AHACs died, yet somehow they were steadily replaced and put back onto the front lines; Test had coyly redirected their JB network so NOL led directly to 1-SMEB. The hot AHAC-on-AHAC action continued, though whenever the Rokhs got within striking distance they were forced to MJD out of range and run from the looming bomber threat. The notable exception, however, was the gunshy Tribe Rokh fleet. After the near-miss early on in the fight, they were forced to show up fashionably late to the party. They chose a suboptimal time to enter grid; the AHACs were momentarily reforming and the Test Rokhs were darting on and off grid. As Tribe landed on grid everything converged on them. All three tech three fleets and two bomber fleets. The instant evisceration of the Tribe fleet did have one benefit – PL and NCdot were both stripped of the pivotal dictors that were helping to hold the Slowcat fleet in place. PL/NC/Goon rounded up some reinforcements, and all parties took this as an opportunity to catch their collective breaths. It was a very civil ceasefire, hilariously enough, and both sides took this opportunity to reship. As the PL/NC/Goon fleets got new dictors to keep the Slowcats pinned, they had already extracted to the safety of their POS.

The SBUs were destroyed, and although Goons stole a crucial SBU it would still mean an hour of waiting before the IHUB was vulnerable again. After four hours of fighting, nobody was willing to wait. Test probably assumed this, and with their Slowcat fleet now safe, had no reason to fight. There was one last ditch effort to draw out a fight, though, and that came in the form of the twenty Supercaps that were put on Cyno-jammer duty. The fleets converged on the Supers, but they were able to slowboat into the shields with relative ease. Although Goons had a sizeable Macherial armada in system, they had apparently fallen asleep. Alternatively they were watching Pitch Perfect together, one cannot be sure. Either way, they never made it out of the POS to bump the supers, and AHACs are lousy at bumping. The Test fleet did one final driveby and killed me before moonwalking out back to their POS.

Winding Down

Nothing left to draw out an engagement, the fight was effectively over. PL, NC, and Goons were able to extract to their systems while the 500 remaining Test in 1-SMEB picked up where they left off and shot some towers, fired some fireworks, and congratulated one another. SMEB was saved in a much more convincing fashion. The bold use of Slowcats and the unwillingness to deviate from strategy saw Test through on this one. At the same time, PL, NCdot, and Goons were able to go into a fight horribly outnumbered and come out the other side largely unscathed. Both sides were incredibly satisfied by the result; a rare win-win. The atmosphere in Test for the last SMEB fight was mixed, but this time it was downright jovial –and for good reason too. Test put nearly 1200 bodies into fleet for the second time in as many days, while incurring half the losses. The panicked invasion talk has dwindled and excitement is picking up. The invasion of Delve may be over, but the Thunderdome is just heating up.


Related links
* BRDoc: http://dog-net.org/brdoc/?brid=19315
* Raw video of the fight (mostly) from a Test perspective: http://www.twitch.tv/alamaurie/b/408342865 (courtesy of Tei Lin, send him ISK if you enjoyed it)

Funfacts
* Frustrated after PL were splitting fire on three different targets, I suggested we disband
* Grath took the focus of the Test POSes instead of penif. He was saved at the expense of killing half a Test Rokh fleet – proof that we still love him
*Toward the end of the fight, the PL logistics decided not to have me on watchlist and let me die like a scrub
*Shadoo was the calmest FC in the PL fleet

Recap

For the last week, Delve has offered more fun than any region in Eve has for a very long time. Some of the biggest players are all shoved within 4 jumps of one another offering daily ~goodfites~, and if you are so inclined there’s a fairly major sovwar just two regions over. It’s an FCs dream. To keep the fun flowing, NCdot has been gently prodding the entry to Delve in 1-SMEB; living in Sakht necessitates a Titan in SMEB in order to effectively move around. Adamant not to let NCdot get a foothold into the region, the Test defense of 1-SMEB started very stout. Every day a single tower was put into RF and it was typically the site of a very scrappy fight, until eventually Test slipped up and let a coveted tower fall into enemy hands. After the first tower fell, Test seemed less inclined to keep the defense up and fell onto their laurels a bit allowing 2 more towers to fall with no formup. Sensing an escalation was in order, NCdot took it upon themselves to push a bit harder and SBU’d 1-SMEB. NCdot were allowed to do this completely unharassed. The timer came out Thursday at 23:00 – a fantastic timer for both EU and US time zones. The stage was set for ~fitenite~

Showdown at the 1-SMEB Corral

The lead up to the 1-SMEB timer was huge from the Test side. Test’s narrative was that 1-SMEB would be an all-or-nothing fight for the fate of Delve. To be honest I was a bit disspointed by the “invasion” shtick; two Goon squads and an SC-less NCdot and PL does not an invasion force make. Heck, Test line members and leadership have been involved in CFC, NCdot and PL-style invasions (including one in Delve not too long ago), so flagging this as an invasion could not be further from the truth. That withstanding, I was personally expecting ~500 Test and ~150 Tribe – something I deemed to be an impressive showing. When it came down to it Test, as always, surpassed my expectations. They doubled the turnout.

As PL began to form in AHACs, TEST had a full Rokh fleet, a full AHAC fleet, ~120 instacanes, ~50 bombers, and to everyone’s surprise one hundred Slowcats that were cyno’d into 1-SMEB as the jammer went up. Oh, and Tribe were burning down in a full AHAC fleet of their own. PL, NCdot, and Goons began chatting to one another to see what we all had. PL had 120 (AHACs), Goons 90 (Tengus), and NCdot ~160 (AHACs), with hero Waffle bombers, Pizza bombers, and I think NCdot and Goon bombers took. There were approximately 250 bombers in system. Our plan was simple: pounce on an ill-prepared fleet and quickly decimate it, hope Test Rokhs get bombed to shit by someone, then pile into 1-SMEB and figure out a way to keep 100 Slowcats and 500 dudes at bay. The full Tribe AHAC fleet was the only one traveling by itself, so the eye of 0wndor turned to them first. Also they called me cowards the other day so I was pretty elated they were the fleet to dunk. We setup a pretty sweet dragbubble on them and all was looking good, and then about 15 seconds before lighting the cyno Sala pointed out the system was not in range. Oppsie. Frantically we trashed that good plan, jumped to the other side and tried to materialize and 0wn before Tribe could materialize and warp out. Yea not the best plan but whatever we had to make the best of a bad situation. It didn’t work out, of course, and Tribe reapproached the gate and tried to spacejuke us. Lady luck was on our side (sort of), and Tribe were forced into action as we managed to nab half their fleet in a bubble. The brawl started in earnest, but we managed to pick the one cynojammed system in Delve so our Triage wasn’t able to come in. The start of the fight looked a bit grim, a 120 man AHAC fleet vs a 250 man AHAC fleet, and we exchanged losses evenly for the first few minutes of the fight. Tribe went after our Logistics while we just went straight into the DPS and began to flat-out ravage some Zealots. Manny was able to position our fleet just right and the losses began to level out for us. Full on fist-raping was in effect. Tribe began to waiver in their convictions, but just as they motioned to disengage Goonbro Tengus showed up on the other side of the gate. Tribe were forced into action and began slugging it out, tough a fair few decided to run straight into the Goon fleet on the other side. After Tribe were sufficiently off gate thanks to Manny trickeration, Goonbros came in to clean up what was left. Tribe fleet down.

As this was going on, the 1-SMEB IHUB timer was nearly out of reinforced. NCdot were alone against unrelenting hordes of Test eager to fight for their space. I told Vince, pretty much verbatim, “brb 5 minutes gotta dunk this Tribe fleet” but, nonshockingly, killing 150 dudes took a bit longer than expected. NCdot gave no fucks and went in to keep Test from blapping a TCU and moonwalking out. Mind you at this point Test had 30 more Slowcats than NCdot had DPS ships, in addition to the 500 subcaps. Pretty dangerzone maneuvers. It worked, somehow, and even when the Test Rokhs came in they were promptly bombed to shit. -1 Rokhfleet to bombers. Thanks to heavy TiDi, my 5 minute estimation was pretty much spot on – I just never clarified 5 tidi minutes or 5 real minutes. No need to point fingers, we got in quick and began to brawl outrageous with NCdot. A good 40 minutes of slugging it out, with Test CONSTANTLY reshipping (another Rokh fleet showed up, another Tribe AHAC fleet, and a constant stream of new EVERYTHING), and we finally held the field. The IHUB was saved with the help of 5 suicide Triage carriers. We promptly made “suicide” an apt classification for the carriers, and they were gone.

Finally a chance to breathe after about 2h of fighting. Right? WRONG! That is not how Test rolls – they had 5 fleets up with new bodies, in new ships, ready to own. While we tried to cut-off a Tribe gang next door, Test started round 2 in 1-SMEB dropping everything on the Goon Tengu gang. We rushed back into system and the fight, again, was on like Kong of clan Donkey. The Rokhs were substantially smarter this time – or at least more cautious – and avoided the bombers pretty well. Another good hour of solid fighting, we were going for DPS ships and Test were going mostly for Logis. PL tends to go with the bare minimum of Logis to begin with, focusing the bulk of our fleet into DPS ships, so we pretty quickly came into dangerzone. We had killed a good 100 DPS ships after our Logis were down, but fuck me if Test didn’t have another 400 DPS ships. NCdot still had plenty of Logi, though, so we dropped gang and merged into their fleet as the fight was going on. Let me tell you, doing this as you’re getting shot, trying to shoot, and in 10% tidi is a bit of a challenge. Fleets merged we went back into the own. Another wave of Test reinforcements landed, nullifying basically all the headway we made. We continued on the path set before us, and now that we had no dictors left there was nothing to keep the 100 Test Slowcats from coming right on us and ripping us to shreds. Nothing but hope, belief, and courage, which as luck would have it we had in good supply. I think the Slowcats were afraid to leave the jammer, which was a bit of an odd decision since there would be no need to take a jammer down when there are no Carriers on the field. We must have just been believing that hard.

Another hour of actual fighting later and Test were feeling the pressure of a four-hour-long slugfest. All the Huggins were down, web Lokis were manageable, and the PL+NCdot AHACs were sitting pretty. A little light on Logis, but NCdot living 1 jump away saved our bacon on that front. Also Goons, who were having a hard time keeping up with reps, had swapped to bombers and were threatening the sanctity of any non-AHAC fleet Test+Co could field. Test+Bros disengaged, and we cautiously breathed a sigh of relief. Before the crazy Test could decide to shove another 700 dudes on grid for round ??, we swung by the IHUB shoved it back into RF and then moonwalked home.

What a fight that was. Test had more bodies in fleet than I have ever seen from a single alliance – perhaps my memory is raddled by alcohol, but the combined battlereport (which isn’t done updating) is showing 1227 Test. TWELVE HUNDRED DUDES plus the 100 Slowcats that (thankfully) didn't make it onto the field. The post-fight atmosphere in Test is currently a bit mixed – some are happy at the showing, while others were a bit disappointed and :spacemad: at CFC. Test brawled outrageous, saved the system, and were at the heart of one of the best fights of 2013. There’s no shame there.

Links:
Combined BR (still updating): http://dog-net.org/brdoc/?brid=19180
Prefight Tribe drop: https://www.pandemic-legion.com/kill...=J-LPX7,QY6-RK

Funfacts:
Shadoo moved from Amamake to Delve and got into 1-SMEB in time to poke fun at Carbonfury’s target calling
Goons killed half the PL link Lokis (including mine)
Jogyn cannot fly Legions
Nickfuzzeh kept us entertained by playing various songs overlaid with FC snippets via soundboard during the fight (Dangerzone, Safetydance, Spacejam, and more)
About a hundred bombers died in system, there were still about a hundred-and-fifty that lived

The sum of the past few months is this: Test is going through an upheaval, one that has seen a bunch of dudes who have gone above and beyond to bring content and shepherd the rank and file members leave.

Anyone who claims nothing of value was lost is mental. Walter Stine, Leetcheese, Richter, multiple people in Nork, a list of others that I am leaving out because I don't know them by name, though that doesn't mean their contributions were any less. These people were not only the face of Test to some, but also the backbone, and a good portion of the reason the alliance has reached where it is today. They turned a bunch of retards into a decent alliance, and hopefully trolls aside they all enjoy themselves in their Eve playing now they are out.

Although Montolio hasn't left test as of yet, the same can be said about him. Rhetoric about him being childish, egotistical, whatever, can hopefully just be dropped. The dude has definitely been a strength for Test, and though he blames himself for some kind of bullshit view of the alliance being in a bad situation, that's all it is. People can try to spin all they want, when he stepped down, Test was by far stronger and more successful than when he took the reigns.

Las for the Hbc, I made friends and have talked to people in a good portion of the alliances. Though that doesn't mean shit really, as any one member is never a true reflection of the leadership, I can say with all honesty there are bros throughout the coalition that are cool as fuck, and if at any point the Hbc falls apart, I hope I'm there to have some good fights with them. I said months ago if the Hbc fell apart, the fighting would be fun, and I still hold to that. I only hope if it happens it isn't piecemeal, but in a massive reset so we can all rage fuck each other.

Fuck a tl;dr, read it you lazy fucks.